As I look back over the last 10 months of our journey to Arizona, there was one resounding statement that I said to God over and over.... "Who, me?!?". The day that Michael and I went and met with John and Laurie on their couch to talk about joining them in this mission I even said "we are the last people you probably ever though would be sitting on your couch talking about this". I followed that up with asking them if they felt like we weren't "right for the job" if they would tell us. John's reply was one that I have had to remind myself over and over again... GOD put this team together, not John and Laurie. For whatever reason that is yet to be revealed, God wanted us here.
But now that we're here I still have that doubt in the back of my mind. How can a midwest girl who really didn't grow up in a church other than holidays and attending VBS to get out of Mom's hair in the summertime do this big job that's before us? I'm still early on in my own journey with Christ and don't feel equipped, or dare I say comfortable, to lead others to Christ. I read the Bible daily, multiple times a day usually, but I don't have Bible verses memorized to pull out of my head when someone really needs it. I still use a topical Bible 50% of the time when I'm looking for something specific to help me through a day, or to send to a friend who needs encouraging word. I'm the first to type out and say a prayer for others, but often when I pray with them 1 on 1 my words get jumbled and what comes out of my mouth isn't really what I am trying to say. I've been immersed in a new state with people I don't know. While I'm typically a pretty social person, getting to know people puts me on pins and needles. I would rather someone introduce me to others and go from there than me introduce myself.
But God chose me to be part of this team to build relationships and share the love of Jesus with the people in Arizona!
This morning, as I was getting ready to go to John and Laurie's for our Riverview Church study on building community in Christ I was thinking about all of all of the things I've just mentioned. I came downstairs, fixed my no carb no sugar omelet (that's a whole other blog post yet to come later), and sat down with my Bible some morning reading and opened it randomly and this is where it led me:
"Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God." 2 Corinthians 3:4-5
A gentle morning reminder that I don't have to be a scholar who knows the Bible forwards and backwards. I don't have to be outgoing and introduce myself to every person I meet. I don't have to say the most eloquent prayer ever. God has me here because he wants me here and all of those things that I think I'm lacking, he has figured out too. My confidence is in and from Christ!
Are you in a situation where you feel you aren't "good enough" to be used? Whether it be work, family, friends, church situations, or otherwise? Start your days in prayer, seeking the confidence that only comes from God and let him lead you where he wants you. I promise you... it will be an exciting adventure!
