Someone said to me today "your life is like a circus... it's always something" and kind of laughed. Even though I know the person meant it in good fun, it hurt to hear it because we can't change what we've been dealt. We have to face things head on.
I said to a good friend later "I just wish our life were normal." She then said to me... "but really, what is normal?" That statement has stuck with me all day.
From the very beginning it was one thing after another. The night of our wedding it was below zero, record setting, low temps. We left the reception and went to our new home that night, to find that our furnace stopped working. We called some local hotels - NONE had occupancy! So, we wrapped up in clothes, blankets, and whatever we could find and slept in the smallest (but warmest) room of the house. The next morning, after unthawing, we went to leave for our honeymoon only to find that the antifreeze had frozen!
In the almost 18 years of marriage since then we have been dealt one thing after another... risky pregnancies, premature deliveries, devastating miscarriages, cancer, seizures, one injury after another, a child with an auto-immune heart disease, car accidents, and so much more. Our life rarely goes a month without some sort of doctor's appointment or crisis. Usually, we handle things pretty well and people are amazed that we are able to just brush it off as another day in the Lyons family.
In the last few weeks though, we have had more than our fair share thrown at us between Paige's pneumonia, Devin's ankle, and Chase's chest pain. Again today, Chase had another episode of dizziness, chest pain, and fever. We both dropped everything and rushed him to the doctor - yet again with no answers.
For the first time in a while, I am feeling very frustrated and overwhelmed. I've even shed a few tears. Michael is so strong and always so positive and seems to sense when I start to feel this way. He is so reassuring when he says to me "it is going to be FINE". And I know that he's 99% of the time right. It's so good to have him on my side!
The other thing I have on my side.... Faith! We have always been given the strength we need and a we always have a feeling of peace and comfort in everything that comes our way.
2 Corinthians 1:3 & 4 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received.
Admittedly, last night I just skimmed across these verses as I read the chapter. But after the events of today I was reminded of it and went back to read it again. I think it sort of answers those "why me?" questions that often pop up in my mind. A response to my comment to Evelyn today when I said "I just wish our life was normal". All of the things we have been through... the little things like freezing our tail ends off on our wedding night to the bigger things like watching Chase in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit receiving treatment for KD... we were being taught comfort... compassion... peace... and love so that we may be able to help others.
So for all of you who say "I just don't know how you do it"... or "your life is like a circus... it's always something" - you're right! But I have Jesus on my side so it'll be OK!
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3 comments:
I, too, feel like I just always get extra doses of challenges in my life. It has always been like that. I've tried to fight against it and will away that truth, but I've come to realize that this is just how my life is meant to be. It makes things more difficult, obviously, but the thing that always makes me feel better is this.. When I experience something good and happy, it is soooooo much sweeter for me than it is for someone who isn't faced with so many challenges. And we all know that facing adversity brings about depth and faith and wisdom, so I tell myself that I will have all of these things on a much deeper level than most people. That is pretty cool.
In the midst of it, though, it really can be trying. Especially for moms/women, I think. Dan, too, is so good at being positive and letting things slide right off his back. Thank goodness we both have solid men to hold us up when we feel like crumbling!
Hang in there. We will pray that you can get some answers about Chase's symptoms and that things will settle down very soon. Hugs to you guys..oxoxo
AMEN!!!!!!!
I need to keep this post on speed dial! Thank you for sharing!
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