The Start of a New Year

As 2010 draws to a close, I've been thinking back over all the things we have gone through this year... both good and bad. Everything from broken bones, to illnesses, to the loss of a grandparent... to Devin becoming a senior and Kayleigh getting her permit. What a year it has been!

In 2008 I decided to start a New Year's ReVolution each year. It started when an elder at our church talked about the New Year being a Revolution! Instead of making selfish resolutions where it's all about me.... it should be about God and how we should really bring Him into our daily lives even more than we do now.

I started these ReVolutions with some baby steps... pray more, join a small group, and give up my fears and anxieties to Him. I did pretty good that first year, but still had work to do... especially on the prayer part. As much as I wanted to bring prayer into our daily family life, my anxieties always let me down. Sure, I pray every night, but still wasn't praying WITH my family as often as I could have. When I looked back on the list of ReVolutions, I decided to keep working on these things in 2010 and REALLY make them a priority.

So... here's how it went...

1) I will let go of trying to control my life and let Him take the reigns. When He is in control all comes together as a part of His perfect plan.

I have been blessed beyond measure in taking risks to follow where He has guided me! I really felt the push to take a new job with another company. This was way out of my comfort zone... as it was going to a true skilled nursing facility where many of the residents do not have insurance. I am finding that I am constantly looking for ways to help them within their means and pray for patients who have no one and nothing every night.

Even bigger... one night while at a parents youth meeting I stepped WAY out of my box and signed up to be a youth leader! Each week, spending time with these kids gets easier and easier and I'm loving being a part of their lives! Like I said... blessed beyond measure!

2) I will let go of worry. If you know me I am bad about this! I will have faith that He will provide in times of need.

I have really made this a part of my life and my outlook on things is sooooo much better! When illnesses, financial matters, or career choices popped up; I tried hard to step back and let Him guide me and He has always provided when I've truly followed His will.

3) I will bring Him into our home on a daily basis. In our every day life, this often gets pushed aside. Coming home late from practices and work we often rush through dinner and scurry the kids off to bed... not taking the time for proper prayers of thanks and praise at mealtimes and bedtimes.

This is the one area that I have really focused on this year. I don't know that we can ever pray ENOUGH... but, in the latter half of the year especially, we have began praying at dinner when we are all together, at Holiday times, and I have even started praying more often at bedtime with the kids or when they are having a tough day. I do wish I could calm my anxieties over praying with Michael and will make an effort this year to spend time with him in prayer... I think it's something that we both need.

4) I will step out of my comfort zone and participate in a small group this year. My lack of knowledge of the Bible has always shied me away from joining a small group. I'm always afraid of sounding "stupid" for asking questions or asking for explanation. This is a huge thing for me, but what a better way to come closer to Jesus!

Well - last year I posted this was one goal that I accomplished. But, sadly, in May our small group "disbanded". The leading couple was expecting a baby and they felt they needed to "feed" their own spiritual needs for a while. I miss our weekly time together so very much!

So, as the New Year approaches, here's my ReVolutions for 2011

1) I will continue to improve the prayer time for our family, both at mealtimes, bedtimes, in times of need, and in times of praise. Similarly, I will encourage Michael to do the same and I will begin to pray with him.

2) I will lead a youth small group and not take the passenger seat in order to help guide these kids in a life of love that comes with living for Jesus.

3) I will find and participate in another small group in order to build upon my faith and love of the Lord so that I can share with others the joy that comes from Him.

I pray you all have a Happy New Year and that 2011 is full of love, laughter, and many blessings!!

Photoshoot With 4 Kids!

and....

FINALLY!!! A Good One!

Sisters in the Snow!

A North Carolina White Christmas!

Merry Christmas Mom

Dear Mom,

So hard to believe that this is our 8th Christmas without you, it seems it was just yesterday that we traveled through a horrible snowstorm (illegally!) to spend that last Christmas by your side. Didn't matter what it took, Mike and I were determined to make it to your house, and that we did! I will forever hold that day in my heart, watching you smile at the grandkids and take it all in; as we tried to hold back tears knowing it was your last.

This year was another crazy year here... broken bones, hospitalizations, sick kids, new jobs, new house, and more. Yet, as busy as we get, we still remember you daily and often talk of you to the kids. When we were home in October we shared many pictures and memories with the kids and told many stories from when we were growing up.

This Christmas has been a bit different for us. It's the first Christmas in many years that we have really focused on the birth of Jesus, and His role at Christmas and in our every day lives. It has made it so much more from the heart! Paige and Kayleigh participated in our church's Christmas program honoring his birth, and this morning, Paige sat on my lap as we read The Story of Jesus. I can only imagine how you celebrated this year, at His side for His big birthday party!

Last year I started something new with the kids, in honor of you and something you did for us each and every year. Each of the kids got a Christmas coloring book and crayons and the tag said From Your Angel Grandma in Heaven. I never ever want a Christmas to go by where we all don't remember how much we enjoyed Christmas with you and the little things you did.

I miss you more than I could ever put into words. What I wouldn't give for one more Christmas right here by your side, to see you smile taking in the joy and laughter of all the kids! But, I know I have many more Christmas's by your side when we are reunited in Heaven someday.

Until then, we'll hang on to every last memory of you and continue to tell the kids how special you were and still are!

Love always,

Michelle

If Mary and Joseph Had Facebook...

"How Do You Have Such Great Kids?"

We hear all kinds of questions and comments about Devin and Kayleigh, and how they are such respectful, Jesus loving, ministering teenagers!

"You've got such great kids."
"Your kids are so polite and love Jesus and the church."
"Your kids are blessed in ministry."
"Tell me, how did you do it so that I can raise kids like that?"

Deuteronomy 6:5-7 says "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when lie down and when you get up.

I wish I could sit here and tell you that this verse is how we raised our kids... but it's not. Truth be told, it was ALL God's doing and none of our own earthly doing.

Mike and I have a long history in our faith, and I know there were many times where we (yes, I say WE) didn't impress upon them a great view of the church because of the way we were each brought up.

Mike was raised in the Catholic church from birth through marriage.... the whole 9 yards. He was an alter boy, served mass, went to Catholic school, and even after high school was a lector in the church. He never agreed with all the Catholic traditions, but it's all he knew. He knew Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John like the back of his hand.

Me, well I wasn't raised in church at all. I'm pretty sure we had a Bible in the house, but I would be hard pressed to tell you if I ever opened it, or if my parents ever opened it. During the summers my Mom would send us kids up the block to both the Catholic church and the Presbyterian church for their Summer Bible School, and occasionally on Christmas we would go to a Catholic church in Defiance for Christmas Mass. But that was the only exposure I had to a church. I never knew any of the Bible stories or memorized any verses.

When we were married, we were married in the Catholic church (Mike's), and shortly after I joined the church. We attended pretty regularly through the time Kayleigh was born, but admittedly, we were "Sunday church go-ers" and that was about it. I always knew I needed something more than that, but Mike wasn't interested and I never pushed the issue. When we moved it Indiana University, we went to church less and less. We did have Chase baptized after he was born, but after his baptism we more or less stopped going all together even though I still felt a desire to be SOMEWHERE. I just didn't know where.

After we moved back home, we made a trip to our best friends (Dawnya and Neal Taylor-Schroeder) and attended church with them one Sunday during Easter season. On the way home one of the kids (I can't remember which one) asked us in the car what Easter was? What Lent was? Why do we celebrate it? Then the biggie... "Christmas was Jesus' BIRTHDAY????" with amazement! Devin was about 9, Kayleigh about 8, Chase was about 4, and Paige was a baby.

Mike and I started talking and again realized that we NEEDED to get these kids some exposure to a church whether he wanted to be there or not. This is how we found Sonrise at Aboite in Fort Wayne. It had a great young youth group and children's program and the music was more contemporary - which the kids loved and so did I. Still though, I think we were just the "Sunday go-ers", and we were the "Sunday go-ers that went just for their kids sake". Yikes!

In 2006 we moved to North Carolina and for the first year, again, we didn't attend church anywhere. Every once in a while one of the kids would ask about a church, but we never moved on it. Then, in early 2007 Mike's rock, his Grandpa Molitor, died. It hit him HARD! While we were sitting in the Catholic church we got married in, saying goodbye to Grandpa, Mike started crying. Something about sitting in that church he grew up in opened his eyes again.

When we came home, the next Sunday, we attended Holy Family Catholic Church here in Winston-Salem. Without talking much about it, we quickly enrolled the kids in CCD classes to get them "caught up" with the sacraments they had missed (communion, confirmation, etc.) and really didn't ask their input. Mother's Day 2007 Paige was Baptized, and in the spring of 2008 Kayleigh and Chase went through First Communion. We were going MOST Sundays, but we were dragging the kids each and every week. ESPECIALLY Devin!

During this time at Holy Family, Devin was NOT happy with us! He loved Sonrise, but certainly was not loving the Catholic church. Each week was a struggle and he often made reference to not being sure what he even believed in. Kayleigh had said a few times that she was doing it "For Daddy". And honestly, I don't know that Chase really knew why he was going through the classes or even what it meant to celebrate his First Communion (Yeah.... not a real great parenting moment I tell ya!). We really didn't think much about the kids, we were happy because we were back in our "home" church, and our families were happy as well.

Shortly after receiving their sacraments, we were eating dinner one evening and for the first time, we openly asked the kids what they thought. Boy were they honest... they said they felt out of place, did it for us, Devin said he hated church and didn't want to go at all. Ouch! Mike through on the table "Where WOULD you go if you could choose?" and they all FOUR said at almost the same time "River Oaks" because they had friends there that really loved it.

After talking about it privately, we realized it was important to get our kids involved in church and it didn't matter if it was Catholic, Presbyterian, Lutheran, Methodist, etc. What was important was that our kids have a church base where they would know "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son" to die on the cross for OUR sons because he loved us THAT much! Where we took them to hear this, learn of this, and let this penetrate their hearts didn't really matter to us! We had already gone HOW many years more or less keeping this Great Truth from them!

The next Sunday, we went to River Oaks Community Church and from then on our lives were changed. Devin and Kayleigh QUICKLY became involved in the youth group. In October of 2008 they went on their first youth retreat and Devin came home truly changed and a huge part of that change was Doug Todd, as well as other youth leaders. All of whom refused to just give up on Devin. As I waited for them to get off the bus, my heart was pounding. Kayleigh came first - running to me saying "Mom... Devin cried and gave a TESTIMONY!". When I saw Devin, I immediately saw the difference in him... and he hugged me with tears in his eyes. He didn't have to say a word, I knew that he met Jesus that weekend in his heart!

Even since that weekend, to be honest, we still don't pray at home like we should. Sure, if we're all here for a family meal we will pray at the table. When one of the kids has a rough day I will pray with them at bedtime. But we still aren't a family that "prays together" consistently, and Mike and I have still have a LOT of work to do in our faith! But, we are working on it and honestly, we are at a point where we are soaking it all in from our KIDS!

Since attending River Oaks, Devin and Kayleigh have became so involved with the youth, ministering to kids, attending retreats and mission trips, local missions, even speaking on Youth Sundays. None of it was anything Mike and I have done... we haven't raised our family in a Godly home the way the Bible intends. I go back and read verses like Proverbs 22:6 that says "Start children off the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it." and I think to myself... I didn't do that! Who did? Because these kids have a faith like none other and even through the toughest of times, they aren't turning from the Lord.

So when someone asks me for advice on how to raise kids like we have, how to raise Godly teenagers who aren't afraid of talking to strangers about Jesus, I will simply say "It was ALL God! It was certainly NOTHING earthly that Mike and I did!

We are blessed beyond measure!

If Momma Meets Jesus Tonight...

This is something I've never written about and really, have never even talked about... until now.

The first year I heard Newsong's "Christmas Shoes" song was the year that we knew would be Mom's last Christmas. Every time it came on the radio, I quickly turned it off! I couldn't get even the first verse in without tears flooding my vision... just hit too close to home.

That Christmas season was not going well AT ALL! Paige was born November 7th at 9 weeks early. While Paige was getting stronger in the NICU, Mom was getting weaker and weaker. Then Dad called one afternoon and told me the unthinkable.. she wasn't going to get better, the cancer had spread.

I felt so pulled... be in Indiana with my daughter? Be in Ohio with my Mom? Some days I did both and by the end of the day was physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted and then would be up all night crying over feeling helpless... on both accounts!

We were all anxiously awaiting Paige to be released so that we could have one last family picture taken with my Mom. As soon as we got word that Paige could come home Dad scheduled it. We all knew why we were there... we knew it would be the last time we would have pictures taken with Mom, and it just plain sucked! But we all smiled and got through the afternoon, making sure that Mom stayed calm and unaware of all of us being upset.

Then Christmas Eve came... Mike and I decided to stay at our own home in Indiana that night, instead of staying at Mom & Dad's like we typically did. Paige was still attached to monitors and wires and was still very frail, so we felt it was best. Our plan was to get up Christmas morning and make the hour drive to Mom & Dad's. Little did we know we'd get nailed with an unexpected snowstorm that night that shut down all the roads under a state of emergency (Uhh.. for those of you southerners, that means it's actually ILLEGAL to be on the roads and they will haul you off to the slammer!). When I woke up and saw the news, I just cried! There was NO WAY that I was letting a snow storm keep me from spending my Mom's last Christmas on this earth with her and I didn't care who tried to stop me!

So... my amazing husband spent the next two hours shoveling us out as I called the sheriff's department and state highway patrol to figure out how to get to Mom's safely. I explained through tears to each of them why this was so important, and they gave me the "unofficially, I could tell you to try...". But, they all stressed how unsafe the roads were, if we got caught we could be in big trouble, and told me that we should stay put (Yeah... right! Like THAT was gonna happen!)

Once Mike shoveled us, I called my Dad and told him we were on our way, but not to tell Mom... no way could she have handled the stress of knowing we were driving in the mess! We loaded the kids in the van with lots of food, blankets, extra battery support for Paige's monitors, and emergency things in case we got ourselves in trouble. Mike looked at the kids and told them that once we left that garage no one was to say a word so that he could concentrate on the roads and that we WOULD make it to Grandma's house. (Have I mentioned how amazing he is?) And off we went...

The van was so quiet! The kids KNEW Daddy was serious and they KNEW the roads were bad. I prayed the entire way... "Please, Lord, just let me spend my Mom's last Christmas with her!! Please get us there safely!" I don't remember exactly how long it took us to get to my parent's house - but I know it was well over 2 hours (and it was only an hour drive normally) and as we turned on the road they lived on the tears were uncontrollable!! (Kind of like right now just reliving that day!).

That Christmas seemed just like all the others... lots of laughs, lots of cookies, lots of gifts, and lots of fun with the family. Deep down, we all knew it was actually very different; after all, it was Mom's last. I still remember her sitting on the couch wrapped up in her robe watching all the kids, taking it all in. She was frail, her hair was gone, her skin was pale... but she was so beautiful to watch! The smile on her face of having us ALL there made me so very thankful that I have a husband who will go to the great lengths for his family, and thankful that our Lord God protected us along the way!

Now, when I hear "Christmas Shoes" I can listen to it, but I still cry. My gift to my Mom that year was more than what was wrapped under the tree... it was that I would go to ANY length to be with her that very day just in case "Momma met Jesus tonight".

Tis the Season...

To be.....


Yep! Sick! And not just Paige... but Daddy too!

Paige woke up with that undeniable seal bark, fever, and stridor that could only mean one thing... Croup! After the first dose of steroids, she's is sounding a bit better with just a tad of "roid rage" kicking in!

As for Michael... he's had a GI flu for a few days now. Last night he came home from work earlier than expected feeling just awful. I got a text from him around 2pm that said "I just did the unimaginable... I called in sick!". For those of you that really know Michael, you know that's serious! He hasn't called in to work on his own in almost 10 years! I came home from work to find that every time he even sits up, his world goes black and then the fun starts!

As for the rest of us... we are hiding from the 2 that are full of germs! Tomorrow will be spent disinfecting the entire house!

It's Snowing!

Last year, the first snowfall was on December 18th when we got a snowstorm that shut down the city for days! Well, today is December 4th and we're getting snow already! Here's to hoping it doesn't amount to much! I'm not ready for winter!