"How Do You Have Such Great Kids?"

We hear all kinds of questions and comments about Devin and Kayleigh, and how they are such respectful, Jesus loving, ministering teenagers!

"You've got such great kids."
"Your kids are so polite and love Jesus and the church."
"Your kids are blessed in ministry."
"Tell me, how did you do it so that I can raise kids like that?"

Deuteronomy 6:5-7 says "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when lie down and when you get up.

I wish I could sit here and tell you that this verse is how we raised our kids... but it's not. Truth be told, it was ALL God's doing and none of our own earthly doing.

Mike and I have a long history in our faith, and I know there were many times where we (yes, I say WE) didn't impress upon them a great view of the church because of the way we were each brought up.

Mike was raised in the Catholic church from birth through marriage.... the whole 9 yards. He was an alter boy, served mass, went to Catholic school, and even after high school was a lector in the church. He never agreed with all the Catholic traditions, but it's all he knew. He knew Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John like the back of his hand.

Me, well I wasn't raised in church at all. I'm pretty sure we had a Bible in the house, but I would be hard pressed to tell you if I ever opened it, or if my parents ever opened it. During the summers my Mom would send us kids up the block to both the Catholic church and the Presbyterian church for their Summer Bible School, and occasionally on Christmas we would go to a Catholic church in Defiance for Christmas Mass. But that was the only exposure I had to a church. I never knew any of the Bible stories or memorized any verses.

When we were married, we were married in the Catholic church (Mike's), and shortly after I joined the church. We attended pretty regularly through the time Kayleigh was born, but admittedly, we were "Sunday church go-ers" and that was about it. I always knew I needed something more than that, but Mike wasn't interested and I never pushed the issue. When we moved it Indiana University, we went to church less and less. We did have Chase baptized after he was born, but after his baptism we more or less stopped going all together even though I still felt a desire to be SOMEWHERE. I just didn't know where.

After we moved back home, we made a trip to our best friends (Dawnya and Neal Taylor-Schroeder) and attended church with them one Sunday during Easter season. On the way home one of the kids (I can't remember which one) asked us in the car what Easter was? What Lent was? Why do we celebrate it? Then the biggie... "Christmas was Jesus' BIRTHDAY????" with amazement! Devin was about 9, Kayleigh about 8, Chase was about 4, and Paige was a baby.

Mike and I started talking and again realized that we NEEDED to get these kids some exposure to a church whether he wanted to be there or not. This is how we found Sonrise at Aboite in Fort Wayne. It had a great young youth group and children's program and the music was more contemporary - which the kids loved and so did I. Still though, I think we were just the "Sunday go-ers", and we were the "Sunday go-ers that went just for their kids sake". Yikes!

In 2006 we moved to North Carolina and for the first year, again, we didn't attend church anywhere. Every once in a while one of the kids would ask about a church, but we never moved on it. Then, in early 2007 Mike's rock, his Grandpa Molitor, died. It hit him HARD! While we were sitting in the Catholic church we got married in, saying goodbye to Grandpa, Mike started crying. Something about sitting in that church he grew up in opened his eyes again.

When we came home, the next Sunday, we attended Holy Family Catholic Church here in Winston-Salem. Without talking much about it, we quickly enrolled the kids in CCD classes to get them "caught up" with the sacraments they had missed (communion, confirmation, etc.) and really didn't ask their input. Mother's Day 2007 Paige was Baptized, and in the spring of 2008 Kayleigh and Chase went through First Communion. We were going MOST Sundays, but we were dragging the kids each and every week. ESPECIALLY Devin!

During this time at Holy Family, Devin was NOT happy with us! He loved Sonrise, but certainly was not loving the Catholic church. Each week was a struggle and he often made reference to not being sure what he even believed in. Kayleigh had said a few times that she was doing it "For Daddy". And honestly, I don't know that Chase really knew why he was going through the classes or even what it meant to celebrate his First Communion (Yeah.... not a real great parenting moment I tell ya!). We really didn't think much about the kids, we were happy because we were back in our "home" church, and our families were happy as well.

Shortly after receiving their sacraments, we were eating dinner one evening and for the first time, we openly asked the kids what they thought. Boy were they honest... they said they felt out of place, did it for us, Devin said he hated church and didn't want to go at all. Ouch! Mike through on the table "Where WOULD you go if you could choose?" and they all FOUR said at almost the same time "River Oaks" because they had friends there that really loved it.

After talking about it privately, we realized it was important to get our kids involved in church and it didn't matter if it was Catholic, Presbyterian, Lutheran, Methodist, etc. What was important was that our kids have a church base where they would know "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son" to die on the cross for OUR sons because he loved us THAT much! Where we took them to hear this, learn of this, and let this penetrate their hearts didn't really matter to us! We had already gone HOW many years more or less keeping this Great Truth from them!

The next Sunday, we went to River Oaks Community Church and from then on our lives were changed. Devin and Kayleigh QUICKLY became involved in the youth group. In October of 2008 they went on their first youth retreat and Devin came home truly changed and a huge part of that change was Doug Todd, as well as other youth leaders. All of whom refused to just give up on Devin. As I waited for them to get off the bus, my heart was pounding. Kayleigh came first - running to me saying "Mom... Devin cried and gave a TESTIMONY!". When I saw Devin, I immediately saw the difference in him... and he hugged me with tears in his eyes. He didn't have to say a word, I knew that he met Jesus that weekend in his heart!

Even since that weekend, to be honest, we still don't pray at home like we should. Sure, if we're all here for a family meal we will pray at the table. When one of the kids has a rough day I will pray with them at bedtime. But we still aren't a family that "prays together" consistently, and Mike and I have still have a LOT of work to do in our faith! But, we are working on it and honestly, we are at a point where we are soaking it all in from our KIDS!

Since attending River Oaks, Devin and Kayleigh have became so involved with the youth, ministering to kids, attending retreats and mission trips, local missions, even speaking on Youth Sundays. None of it was anything Mike and I have done... we haven't raised our family in a Godly home the way the Bible intends. I go back and read verses like Proverbs 22:6 that says "Start children off the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it." and I think to myself... I didn't do that! Who did? Because these kids have a faith like none other and even through the toughest of times, they aren't turning from the Lord.

So when someone asks me for advice on how to raise kids like we have, how to raise Godly teenagers who aren't afraid of talking to strangers about Jesus, I will simply say "It was ALL God! It was certainly NOTHING earthly that Mike and I did!

We are blessed beyond measure!