Many have asked me the last few days "How are you?". My response is usually "I'm ok... just tired."
But if I'm keeping it real. I am not ok. Period.
I am angry.
I am sad.
I am frustrated.
I am tired.
I am worn out.
I am angry about of all the "junk" that has happened in our family in 2011! We have endured everything from the loss of best friends, to serious illness, to job changes, to troubled teens, to financial chaos, to stress in our marriage... we've seen it all. Way more than what I (selfishly) think should be our fair share!
I often feel sad and alone. I feel like I have to be the one in the house to keep things light and airy when things go wrong. I am usually the optimist in our house and Mike is more of a realist with a tad of pessimist thrown in now and again. Sometimes, I need the ability to just fall apart into someone else's arms for support and love. I am tired of being the happy strong one.
I get frustrated when I constantly hear people say "I don't know how you do it" or "you are so strong". Everyone assumes I am so strong and have it all together. I do not. I promise you.
I am tired of constantly worrying about what is around the next corner that is going to hit us head on! I am especially tired of seeing my daughter endure so very much at such a young age! Yes, she does it with grace and faith like none other.... but I am sure that even she.is.tired!
I am worn out plain and simple.
Tonight, I keep reading over and over Matthew 11:28... "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
Father God, our family is weary. We are tired. We need Your help for peace and rest. Amen.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
I Am Not "OK"...
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3 comments:
We love you. We are here with you always. Lean on your loved ones even though it is not easy. Praying for your family every day!
Praying! Love you!
Oh Michelle. :( For mostly different reasons, I feel this too. It has been a tough year for me and I can relate to so much of what you say. The "appearing strong" thing and having to hold it together and be the optimistic one. You and your family have dealt with so much! I just have to think this is going to make you all that much more richly blessed. It has to be all for a reason....all of it! If you ever want to talk, call! 952-484-4921. Sending you prayers and LOVE!
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