Worst Day of My Career Thus Far

Usually I post to the blog about the kids, family, things we're doing, etc. Today is different. Today I just need to get some of my feelings out there after the worst day I have ever experienced on the job.

I got to work this morning and as usual - saw one of my patients in the dining room with his son. I said hello - how was your weekend and he responded like he always does. "Good - I'm ready to work!". He finished and then came in to the therapy gym and his son headed off to work - just like every morning. But today wouldn't be like every morning.

As he was working I heard him comment to the other therapists that he was tired - but he was "ok". He finished with the Speech Therapist and worked a little with another Occupational Therapist - then was ready to walk. We talked about how well he was doing - and how excited he was to be able to be home by Friday for his 65th wedding anniversary - there was alot of smiles, talking, and laughing going on.

A PTA colleague of mine got him walking, still talking with him. He seemed a bit more fatigued than normal - but as always - he said "no - I'm fine - let's keep going". She sat him down to rest a minute and he became short of breath. Just so happened that our doctor was right there beside them and he told the doctor he felt no pain, just short of breath. Within seconds he was slumped over in his chair, unresponsive, and hardly breathing. Within minutes - he was gone.

Patients come to my floor - a subacute rehab floor - to get stronger, and go home - to their earthly home. As I sit here thinking about the whole thing over and over and over again - I keep thinking - what did we do wrong? Why did this happen? He was FINE! It makes no sense at all! We were all laughing and talking about going home one minute, and the next minute making the dreaded call to his son saying "we're sorry, it all happened so fast, he's gone". Almost seems like a dream - the whole thing.

I love my job - I do. But patients come to my floor - the subacute rehab floor - to get stronger and go home. It's my job as the manager to make sure this happens. They aren't supposed to come to my floor and die. It just doesn't work that way.

It's going to be so hard to go to work tomorrow and walk by that dining room and his table be empty. I dread even the thought of it.

Mr. D - you became one of our favorite patients so quickly! You will be missed by all of us at Brookridge! Rest peacefully sweet man.