Thursday, February 10, 2011

What Our Husbands REALLY Want...


I have been cyber friends with Jen Murray from 4tunate for a few years. First... we're both from Indiana and we Hoosiers stick together! But, I really started to lean on advice from Jen a few years back when my dear friend Marli was going through some issues with getting pregnant and working through the IVF process. Jen was a huge source of strength for Marli and gave me direction on how to love and support Marli... and now Marli has her Long Awaited Miracle!!

Jen often posts things on her blog that speak directly to me!! I don't know HOW she does it... but she does! And this week was no different. As many of us are preparing for Valentine's Day and I hear the mumbling of "what do I get him..., I am sharing parts of her blog post with her permission. I have also linked her blog above in bold italics if you'd like to read it in it's entirety.

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Valentine gifts for guys always seem to come up short.

Cheesy. Trinkety. Hollow.

I’m not knocking your heart key chain, or your photo mug. If he’s in to that kind of thing, then by all means! However, I bet you that there’s something deeper and lasting that he wants from you…

Have you thought about what your husband really wants while you search through the aisles of a department store or peruse the candy aisle?

He wants you to trust him. Do you believe in his pursuits? Do you trust him with parenting your children? Are you still depending on him “to have and to hold” or are you trying to tackle it yourself because “you know best”?

Psalm 31:24 “Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD.”

He wants you to respect him. Do you use your words to uplift him and encourage or do they tear down? How powerful our words and attitudes can be in belittling our mate’s character!

Ephesians 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

He wants you to admire him. What first drew you to your husband? Do you still allow yourself to be swooned by him? Is he confident in your affection and loyalty for him? Have you told him recently what makes him attractive to you?

Ephesians 4:2 “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”

He wants you to be confident in your beauty. Do you constantly point out your imperfections? Do you find yourself changing his compliments into a self-critique? Are you allowing the signs of gravity, the battle scars of bearing children, the comparison struggle to steal joy from your relationship?

Song of Solomon 7:6 “How beautiful you are and how pleasing, my love, with your delights!”

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There are definitely two things listed that I struggle with that I am certain my husband would appreciate.

(Well, Okay... maybe 3... being confident in my own beauty is a toughy... but it's getting a little better as I'm losing weight and watching sizes drop!)

Michael, I love you with all of my heart and promise to you to trust you more with our family and respect you more by loving and encouraging you as you come up on an uncertainty with your job. You are just as handsome and loving as you were the day I met you and I look forward to many more holidays (including the Hallmark holidays) with you!



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