Today I Choose To Be Thankful

---From Michael

I feel like crap.

I know, that is one heck of a way to open a blog with a title like this, but it is the simple truth.  Actually, today I feel downright atrocious.  My headache is floating between the 7-8 range on the 10 point pain scale. My neck feels like it’s been replaced by a steel rod.  My endurance won’t allow standing for more than 10-15 minutes.  My visual and mental focus is making it tough to verify that what I am typing is correct.  My hands are fluctuating between being tingly and numb.  I’m kind of a mess, and, unfortunately, this has become pretty close to the norm for me.

Why am I thankful then?  If this has been my general existence for the last seven months…why be thankful for that?!?!?  The answer seems simple; because of yesterday.

Yesterday!  Oh yes, just yesterday I felt INCREDIBLE.  My headache was ignorable (3-4 range).  My neck was as loose as a swan’s.  My endurance was fine for everyday functioning.  My visual and mental focus was such that I could read normally and stay on task throughout the day.  My hands were fully operational.  I felt as good as I have in a very long time, and I did it without the assistance of any additional medications. 

Yesterday was a gift from God!

I knew it from the moment that I woke up.  There was a “pep in my step” that had not been there naturally for the last seven months.  I was able to shower and shave without feeling like I needed to sit down to regain my bearings.  I spent hours in the kitchen cooking various things while standing the majority of the time.  I was actually able to read my Bible…READ IT!  I have been relegated to listening to my Bible and trying to follow along for months, but yesterday I was able to read and comprehend what Paul was conveying. I was able to attend our Riverview group and actually socialize during our potluck and actively participate in our discussion.  I was able to actively spend quality time with my wife and children.  I was able to laugh.  I generally have to avoid laughing anymore because of the pain it causes in my head.  Last night one of the children made me laugh and I was able to do it heartily without any issues.  It may not sound like much, but for me it was like a day at Disneyland is for a child.

I realize that there are those reading this who are thinking precisely this, “Having yesterday is great, but you’re back to feeling like crap.  Doesn’t that tick you off?”

If I claimed that it wasn’t frustrating, I’d be lying.  There is nothing that I would like more than being able to feel great and resume a normal life again.  That is exactly what yesterday was about though.  Yesterday was short reprieve handed down to me from God.  Whatever this illness is, it has worn me down and, frankly, has taken me to a fairly dark place.  He knew this.  He knew that I was reaching a point where if I didn’t have “yesterday”, I would be closing in on a breaking point.

This morning, when I awoke feeling as I do, I felt that I was left with a choice: I could be angry for an incredible day lost or I could be thankful for an incredible day had.  Our Riverview study just finished up Colossians which is filled with verses regarding being thankful, but I felt compelled to move forward into Thessalonians this morning and there I found this:

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus…1 Thessalonians 5:18

I discovered that where I thought that I had two options, I had only one, and it was not even one of the two I was considering.  This is not about “yesterday”.  This is about EVERY DAY.  While I should be thankful for the incredible gift of reprieve that I was given yesterday, I should also be thankful for today, when I admittedly feel that darkness trying to pull me back in. I should be thankful for every single day that I am graced to experience on this side of life.

Being thankful is not simply an “if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands” agenda…Give thanks in all circumstances, this is our calling and this is what I shall do.