Disability Hearing is Over

I'm not too sure where to start this update.  Life is just hard right now for so many reasons.   

I guess I'll begin with the disability hearing that was Monday.  We had a pre-hearing meeting with the attorney about 2 weeks ago.  He was super positive because the judge we were assigned to he said is one of the to 3 in the district, really reads what's given to her to review, and really listens.  She has one of the highest disability approval statistics as well.  Somehow this other judge's name came up though - and he was saying that of the 30 judges she is the LAST one we would want, she's harsh, and only approves 28% of her cases!  Well...  Sunday night Mike had a pretty rough night, and  knew already it could be rough.  Then, we got there to find out that they made a last minute change in judges.....  to the judge that we did NOT want!  Our attorney gave us a bit of a pep talk, told us that she never gives rulings in her hearings, and in we went.  Mike initially started out not doing too badly.  Then, about 20 min in he was answering a question she asked him, and he just froze!  Couldn't speak, couldn't move, and had his right hand in the air almost like he was trying to pinch something.  It wasn't a full blown seizure, but it definitely was evident that something was wrong.  After about 2-3 minutes he seemed to start to respond again, but from there on out his answers were a bit odd.  The judge quickly ended her questioning and let our attorney take over.  In the end, she seemed to understand all he's been through and seemed to be sympathetic, but she said "you'll receive my ruling on paper".  Oh gee...  thanks....  ANOTHER 45-90 days which means another 90 days before we start seeing any sort of disability assistance and that's IF she approves it.  Seriously?!?  Another Christmas season struggling, more bills piling up, more stress and tension in the house.  It's no wonder people go from financially stable to broke, bankrupt, and divorced waiting on this process! 

On top of the hearing, I've been sick for the first time in about 4-5 years.  The kind of sick where I had to miss quite a bit of work.  It's different with me being self employed now because I don't get "sick days" or "PTO" when I'm off.  So, I tried to just push myself, and ended up so sick I missed 5 full work days in bed.  That just added to my stress, especially in light of having to wait another few months for this disability mess to finalize.  My job is to support my family...  and I didn't do a good job of that last week.  

Mike's had a pretty time since Monday as well.  He's had 1, possibly 2 more seizure/episodes and has been trying hard to not let it affect things here at hone.   The other thing that he's (we've) noticed is he's making some mistakes he never used to make and it's REALLY bothering him.  Simple things like burning chicken nuggets.  Then this week making dinner in the crockpot, but 5 hours later realizing the crockpot was never fully on.  It's hard....  cooking dinner is one of the things he likes to do around the house to make him feel helpful....  and it IS....  we would eat frozen boxed meals every night of the week if it was up to me - Ha!  

Then Friday came...  that was the biggie that just took me down.  I don't want to get into specifics because it involves Paige and we are committed to helping her move forward.  Watching life for her Daddy change (physically, cognitively, and even behaviorally), especially since his hospitalization last month, has affected her WAY more than we realized.  Friday it all came to a head at school when she finally broke.  The school was very gracious with her and we put some things in place to help her get through the day.  We are also going to be putting her in counseling right away.

Yes, I know that this is just a blink in our journey of life and that God WILL carry us through...  one prayer at a time!

Much love to all!