Light at the End of the Tunnel

This is our girl, sitting up on a Sunday morning feeling great! PRAISE GOD!

We also are starting to feel like we see the light at the end of the tunnel! This is what all has happened this weekend...

1) We agreed to let her be seen by a psychologist yesterday morning (the last few weeks have really taken a toll on her). The psychologist said Kayleigh is "delightful", an "old soul", and that she thinks she will be just fine because she clearly has a great support system of friends and family. This little bit of encouragement almost IMMEDIATELY lifted Kayleigh's spirits! To be told you're not crazy is a big thing!

2) The IV Zofran has really helped her nausea and allows her to eat WAY more than she's been eating and her energy level has really improved. She has gone from only able to walk 1 or 2 laps around the unit to 6 laps before she fatigues. Over the weekend, we have successfully transitioned her from IV Zofran to oral Zofran without any trouble! One step closer to going home!

3) Watching the heartrate/blood pressure trends over the last few days finally had them see what we have been seeing and they have decreased her Midodrine dose to 7.5mg and we are starting to see more stabilized blood pressures and heartrates.

4) The multifocal and left ventricular PVCs are still present, but they are less intense and she is getting through them without the miserable scared to death look on her face.

And the best news of the day....

5) She will have a 24 hour holter monitor put on tomorrow morning and taken off Tuesday morning. We hope they read it Tuesday, but it may be Wednesday before we get the results. If the monitor shows that the nature of the PVCs has improved then we get to take her home SURGERY FREE Tuesday or Wednesday!!

So good to finally feel a bit of relief, see a smile on our girl's face, and to see the light at the end of the tunnel!

Friends Make The Days Go Faster!

Nothing like a game of Hungry Hippo with Dean on Wednesday!

Thursday afternoon, Liz and Luke tagged along with Devin... and the Hungry Hippo competition continued!


Andrea tagging along with me on Friday was COMPLETELY unexpected! Loved the smile on Kayleigh's face as she walked in with me!!

A visit from Angie Hutchins was Saturday's surprise!

Community...

Community
com-mu-ni-ti: noun, often attributive
Definition - a unified body of individuals

For us.... it starts at the building above..... River Oaks COMMUNITY Church

One of the sweeping themes through the entire Bible is the idea of God moving people into communities where they will bless others and others will be blessed by them. We have witnessed this direction of the Lord first hand during Kayleigh's illness by the love, support, and prayers of many people! There are many people who have put parts of their lives on hold to help our family out and it brings tears to our eyes each night thinking about the blessings that have came throughout the day.

Jenni and I have been like sisters for many years, and are very close. We met when we were around 5 years old! Our families are very intertwined and we often function as one BIG family! She and Jim have added Chase and Paige to their family for much of the last 8 days while Mike and I are 2 hours away with Kayleigh. Jenni has wiped away my tears after a long drive home, listened to me rant and rave, and offered support and prayer.

Jay and Cindy Dietrich have become very dear friends of ours from church. Cindy is referred to as Kayleigh's "Mama D" and Paige just adores her "Mr. Jay". Cindy has been with Kayleigh from day 1... even beat me to the school the night it all started! These two have given Jim and Jenni a reprieve from Chase and Paige and Cindy is always on call for support for Kayleigh (and me!).

Donna and Steve Heinz have helped us to pick up the pieces with Paige on several occasions over the last month. During our church's VBS, Paige stayed with them a few nights just so that she could attend and we could focus on Kayleigh. This week, while we have been 2 hours away, then again took Paige for a night that was a bit tough on Paige and helped to wipe away the tears and pray with her.


Angie Hutchins has been a HUGE support for Kayleigh, and for Mike and I. She has really helped us understand a lot of the medical terminology, taught us how to do Kayleigh's finger sticks and injections, and has traveled to Duke Children's for appointments with us to be that second set of ears. She and her husband Todd are AMAZING people with so much love for the Lord and for others!

Chip Herrera is Kayleigh's Youth Pastor at church. He and his wife Krista are so good to her and are just wonderful people. The night that Kayleigh was EMS'd to the hospital after collapsing, Chip met us there (without telling his sleeping wife I might add!) and stayed with us until almost 2am!! He always puts his youth kids first and Kayleigh adores him!

There are many, many other people who have also been with us every step of the way. Doug Todd, Eddie and Michelle Schapira, Wendy Warden, Kim and John Riggins... just to name a few!

Mike posted a few nights ago that he was "amazed by the love and charity being poured out upon my family through these trying times.... Honestly I have no clue how to respond to it all". Other than saying Thank You.... I have to agree with him! The community that has surrounded us, this huge body of individuals that have supported us these last few weeks is unlike anything we've ever experienced.

We have been blessed!

Santa Claus Came Today!!!

The highlight of our day was Santa Claus! Yep... he was HERE! The look on Mike's face when Santa walked in the room was priceless and Kayleigh smiled great big! She even got a nailpolish gift set!

Other highlights of the day...

- She was deprived from breakfast and lunch for a radiology test that involved eating egg whites with a radioactive nuclear material in them... they ended up being FLORESCENT YELLOW! But she choked them down like a champ!

- Dr. Kanter came and talked to us about the findings of her halter that they did over the weekend. She had over 900 PVCs on it that were multifocal, some came two at at time, and some even came 3 at a time. He said he couldn't explain it, but wasn't comfortable with it and is looking into a few things.

- We started working very closely with nutrition to work on strategies to help her with meals. Through all of this she just hasn't been eating well. It was very comforting tonight to hear the doctor look at her and say "you do not meet the criteria for anorexia". I wanted to look at her and say duhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! Think of it like a cancer patients... they just don't feel like eating so they have to come up with strategies to help out a bit.

- She had a special EKG done called a Signal Averaged Electrocardiogram that apparently gets down to the nitty gritty of each heartbeat.

- She also had a special echocardiogram done with some extra measurements. It was so cool to watch!!! Don't have a clue what all I was looking at.... but it was really neat to see the heart pumping and blood swooshing around!

- And did I mention Santa came?

We hope to get some results back tomorrow. Still talking about her being here several days. She's a bit sad about it, but is doing ok!

Now... time to finish our mother/daughter mani/pedi!

Today Was a Good Day

Dr. Kanter is back!!!! Yeahhhh!!!!

He came in early this morning to see Kayleigh and started by saying that he has put the pacemaker on the back burner. He wants to get a good idea of the whole picture before he does it because he isn't convinced that it would fix all of what's going on now in light of recent overall decline. So - today we started with another stress test, tomorrow she'll have an echocardiogram done as well as another test down in radiology that will take a few hours. After he gets those results he will decide what's next.

Overall, today was a good day. She was feeling a little better, less nauseous, ate a little more, AND she had all of her family in the same place! My good friends, Donna and Cindy, brought Chase and Paige up for a visit, and Devin came a little later. It was so good to see them all together again! Can't wait for it to be back to "normal" around here!

We continue to have our socks blessed off by all the people around us!!

Thank you all!!!

Update on Kayleigh

(A little note left on her wipe off board from big brother Devin!)

Today was a hard day for Kayleigh. She really wasn't feeling well and I think she is starting to feel a little down. I would too... tomorrow marks 1 week that she's been in a hospital!

Kayleigh did have a few surprise visitors that got a few little smiles out of her (thank you Michelle & Eddie Schapira, and big brother Devin!), but she didn't really interact a whole lot with anyone. Then around 5pm the "witching hour" started and she went into another long run of irregular heart rhythms that set all the monitors off like crazy. When they finally ended she was left with a bad headache and dizzy spells.

Tomorrow HER primary EP Cardiologist will be back and will see her first thing. She is excited as she knows that he knows her best and will be able to give us a good game plan on how to help her feel better... whatever it takes!!

Know that she is getting GREAT care here at Duke Children's!! All of the doctors, nurses, and support staff have been fantastic and very very attentive to her needs.

We continue to be grateful for the outpouring of love from our friends at River Oaks who have stepped in to take care of Chase and Paige, to love on and pray over Devin, planning meals for when we get home, and all those who have continuously prayed for our sweet girl; and our family! We simply can not come up with the words to express how we feel to each and every one of you!!!

Much love to all!

Peace...

Psalm 29:11 "The Lord Blesses His people with peace...."

After a crazy night of PVCs, trigeminy, bigeminy, pauses, and whatever else the crazed out monitor was mad about... she Kayleigh is finally resting... peacefully!

Watching Prayer at Work...

(Sent to me by Chip Herrera - River Oaks Community Church's youth group on a mission trip gathered to pray for Kayleigh Monday night as she was admitted to the hospital)

This week has certainly been full of ups and downs. It isn't anything I ever thought we would be going through with our own child, and I feel so helpless as a Mom when Kayleigh is having one of her spells. All I can do is sit and watch and keep her calm.... and ask for prayer.

When we left Baptist on Wednesday I was very uneasy about taking her home. Something deep down just didn't feel right, but we decided to give it a try. I prayed that night that when I woke up Thursday morning I would feel peace and and direction. Later that night, Mike posted on his facebook wall:

"So, I stepped away on my own and gave Him a piece of my mind about Kayleigh's situation. I'm pretty sure that He chewed it up and returned it based on the headache that I currently have. Just as I was starting to think about how all of my focus has been on Kayleigh and work lately and relatively none on Him, this song popped up on Pandora...Yep, I need to step back and find my center again."

Yep... Even Mike has turned to having conversations with Him about all Kayleigh has been through!

I woke up Thursday and the thought immediately crossed my mind to call and get her seen by her doctors here at Duke - so I called the clinic to get her an appointment. The receptionist said she'd call me back (this was at 8:30am). We waited and waited and waited and waited some more! While I was waiting they pulled her Baptist Hospital records... then we got the call.... "bring her to admissions in the main hospital, we are getting a bed ready for her now".

I prayed along the trip that Kayleigh would be fine until we got here so that she wasn't miserable in the car. Well, we were here just a short time when Kayleigh went into a long run of PVCs. So glad we were here where she felt safe and could stay calm through them!

Yesterday afternoon was a great day for her... she smiled a lot and even had a solid run of heart rates in the 60's! We were thrilled.... then it happened! At first it started easy and she was handling the PVCs well, but the longer they went the worse they got and by the end it was the worst run she's had. On the monitor you can tell how strong they are by a number that goes from 0 (no PVCs) on up... she was in the high 20's and low 30's. When they start to go away the number slowly drops.

About 45 minutes in I sent a prayer request out to please pray they would stop and she would feel relief. Within 5 minutes of that prayer request she went from PVCs with a high intensity to ZERO! No tapering... straight to ZERO! Talk about the power of prayer!!!

We hate watching Kayleigh go from sitting up and smiling feeling great, to crashing hard. It's the hardest thing we've done as parents and we feel pretty helpless. But it's clear that if we pray and ask for prayer that He shows us He is right here guiding the way for His will to be done because He's just cool like that!

Thank you ALL for your love, support, and ongoing prayer!

Happy 62nd Birthday, Mom!

My Mother was born, a beautiful baby girl who grew up to be a beautiful woman both inside and out. I miss her so very much. I still remember every detail of her face, how she smiled as she baked in the kitchen, and watching her give her grandkids the biggest hugs ever!

While she's not here with us, we know she is celebrating her special day with the angels in Heaven.

Much love to you, Mom!

Happy Birthday!

Finally! Some Answers!!!

What a day it has been! Mike, Kayleigh, and I got up at 5:30am and were out the door by 6:30am to head to Duke Medical Center for Kayleigh's Autonomic Studies to determine what's going on. We were checked in by 9am and at 10am they got her prepped. Not one... but TWO tables of needles, IV tubing, meds, and more for 1 young girl! Yikes!


She had to have an arterial line placed as well as a traditional IV. The arterial line goes directly into a major artery into the wrist and is quite painful to place and tolerate! She handled it like a champ though! Squished up her nose just a little with the numbing medicine, but that was it! I think the IV was a bit harder on her (it's up a little higher in the same arm!) because her vein started spasming on the nurse as she was placing it! In addition, she had a constant EKG going and a Transcranial Doppler done.

Then we waited... a LONG time! They needed her to become calm and peaceful so that they would know and capture her "normal". She didn't want a picture of her face... but I did get her beautiful feet!


Not having Justin with her was hard this go around! But... she listened to a video of him singing and playing the guitar and that made her smile!


Then it was time to start..... I still don't know exactly what all was done in the testing. But - I do know the results.

The first thing they told us was "after about 23 minutes she went asystolic....". My mouth hit the floor! Mike looked a bit clueless so Dr. Kanter then said "she had no pulse or blood pressure.... she was clinically dead." Thankfully, it was a very controlled environment and Dr. Kanter and his nurse Angela are FANTASTIC and were right on the ball!

When her heart started beating again though, it was way out of rhythm and took a long time and some meds to get it recovered. (If you look at the picture of the EKG strip below you can see how right before she flat lined her beat was very slow, then afterwards it was VERY erratic!)


So - what does all this mean?

Well... she has 2 different things going on, and possibly even 3.

First - She without a doubt has Neurocardiogenic Syndrome. In simple terms, this means that her autonomic nervous system is hyperactive and causing an extreme response to certain stimuli.

Second - She "more than likely" has a form of Dysautonomia called Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. The labs he drew during the test today will give us the 100% definitive on this, but he said he expects them to come back positive based on what he saw. The only thing that he saw that indicates it may NOT be POTS is that her heart rate only went up to about 90-100 beats per minute. With POTS it typically goes up to 120+ when the body is standing.

Third - She may very well have a problem with her SA node in her heart. This is evidenced by the arrythmia she was in from the second they hooked her up to the monitors as well as the difficulty her heart had recovering from her asystolic episode. The SA node should have put her heart right back into rhythm and it needed some help.

Where do we go from here?

She has been taking Midodrine and Florinef. She is to continue those medications just as she has been taking them for the NCS and POTS. She was started on these meds a while ago with suspicion that she had some form of Dysautonomia.

They've also added something called Scopalamine. It will help calm her nausea and hopefully allow her to eat, and it can increase her heart beat and help settle her system down.

He wants to put her on a beta blocker, but can't do it at this time. If she has no improvement in 2 weeks he has another drug he can try before we start giving serious consideration to a pacemaker. It is looking like this is going to be part of her future, but he wants to be certain that he's tried every other avenue first and we are ok with that.

She is home tonight and feeling very blah, weak, and tired. But she is stable and doing ok. Mike and I are doing ok too... just very tired!

Thank you for your prayers, love, support, meals, phone calls, emails, texts, and more! We are so very blessed with a community of friends and family who love our girl so very much!!!

Where Does the Time Go?

We've all heard it...
We've all been warned...
But do we really listen to it?

That bit of advice where people look at the baby in your arms and say "awwww... precious.... enjoy the time now because before you know it they are all grown up"!

This weekend our oldest child, Devin, graduates from high school. I have found myself saying over and over the last few months "I SWEAR... I JUST changed his diaper yesterday!!". That bit of advice really went in one ear and out the other apparently because I just didn't "get it" until now.

On Saturday, Devin will walk across that stage to be handed his diploma, and walk off the stage onto a new road of life. On Sunday, he turns 18 and becomes an "adult"... all in the same weekend!

I am so very proud of all he has accomplished the last 18 years! He has always been an honor student; he has ran track, cross country, and winter track and won many ribbons and awards; he has been an amazing big brother to 2 sisters and a little brother; he has held an almost full time job for the last year and a half; he has bought his first car; he has been accepted into college; he has preached (given the message) at his church youth group twice; he has led students to Christ; and he has done so much more that isn't even listed!

Devin, I cannot wait to see how God uses you in this thing called life! I know you are going to do big things, I love you with all of my heart and could not be more proud of you!!

- Love Mom

Watching God Step In...

Since Kayleigh's last visit to Duke Medical Center with Endocrinology, labwork has slowly been trickling in. In true "Kayleigh" style... all of her labs have shown to be within the safe "range" of values, but on the very low side of that range. For example... her sodium range is 135-150 and hers is right at 135. These numbers coming in have pretty much ruled out what the doctors all thought Kayleigh had and now are telling us they don't believe it's adrenal insufficiency afterall.

But... this leads us to more questions.

Today, Angie Hutchins came to my house early and we headed back to Duke Med with Kayleigh where we saw the pediatric cardiologist; well, actually THREE! We started with a fellow, Dr. McCanta, who was very very nice and had done his homework! He not only knew Kayleigh's entire history before walking in the room, he had spoken to her endocrinologist to get even more insight! After reviewing her chart, doing her exam, looking at her labs, and talking to us - again they are saying they are on to something. He proceeded to explain a disorder called Dysautonomia. He did openly admit that if she did have Dysautonomia, it was a pretty severe case based on how it has affected her life so drastically.

Anyhow... this is where God kicked in and made things happen...

This first cardiologist told us that there are very few specialists in the United States who soley focus on Dysautonomia, and there are very few hospitals that do a true Dysautonomia battery of tests. Duke happens to be one of those very few... not only that... the doctor that specializes in it, Dr. Kanter, just happened to be there and was available for consult. A colleague of his, Dr. Carboni, was available AND free this afternoon while we were there! He wasn't available to do one of the tests until 3pm, but he was available. It was only about 1:15, so our plan was to go grab a quick bite to eat, then come back... but again... God had other plans for us! An opening was available in the ECHO lab at 2pm! Once these 2 appointments were done they set her up with a 24 hour halter monitor and we were on our way.

At the end of the day we still don't know exactly what is going on with Kayleigh and why she is so symptomatic and her vital signs are so unstable. She will have to go back to Duke soon for a full day of testing to be done on an outpatient basis to give us more insight. But we do have complete confidence in the doctors at Duke and faith that God will continue to step in and guide our path.

Blessed...

I found this new blog background tonight and it seemed perfect for the way we feel...

Blessed.....

We are blessed by an amazing son who is about to graduate from high school and take the next step in this journey called life...


We are blessed that our older two kids are so very close and are always there for each other...


We are blessed with a strong willed little blonde, that I'm SURE will go far and do great things...


We are blessed by Chase's smile each and every day... reminding us that no matter what others think of us... we can be happy with who we are just the way we are...


We are blessed by friends who stop by and love on Kayleigh, and pray for her continuously...


We are just blessed...

I Never Was Any Good at Limbo!

As a matter of fact... I HATED limbo! I was never any good at it! That same pattern has continued into adulthood... only this time... it's a different kind of limbo.

Kayleigh has not recovered well from her incident last month, despite the medication that she's been put on. We've been to the doctor at least once a week and on the phone with them several times a week. We are at a point where our family doctor here just can't help her anymore and isn't comfortable making any more medication changes. They were able to get her appointment at Duke Medical Center moved up by 4 weeks to May 27th, but until then.... we are in limbo and it just plain stinks!

Kayleigh is still dealing with constant headaches due to the medication trying to fight the crazy low blood pressures and heart rates. She's also dealing with on and off low oxygen saturation causing her to fatigues easily and just feel like sleeping a whole lot!

Through it all... she is trying to stay active and be as normal as possible. We did make a few changes to help her handle day to day activities. She is now "Homebound" for her Reagan High School classes. She still gets up and goes to the Career Center in the mornings, but she then comes home in the afternoons where she does the rest of her classwork. There is a teacher that is assigned to her that will spend 4 hours a week tutoring and administering tests to her - here at home. This should allow her to get rest when she needs it, but still do her work and not be penalized for missed school days (she has missed a LOT of school).

I haven't said much about him lately, but, Devin has been absolutely fantastic with whatever Kayleigh needs! He has driven her home from school early, to school late, checks on her throughout the day, and even sends me text updates on her if she's not doing so hot! He and his date are going to prom and dinner with Kayleigh and her boyfriend. Devin has even helped to arrange for Kayleigh to have a manicure/pedicure this afternoon!!! I have always known the 2 of them are close siblings... but seeing how he has supported and loved her through all this is absolutely sobering and brings tears to my eyes.

Mike and I are doing fine. Mike, as always, is a rock and never lets anything get to him. He cares and I know he worries about her, but he doesn't treat her any differently now than he did before this all started. I'm the one who says "How are you today?" and he's the one that says "Do the dishes!". LOL! Most importantly, he's the one who says "there's no sense in getting upset and worked up if there's nothing you can do about it... we take it one day at a time". (Sometimes, this man is pretty smart!)

In all seriousness.. during our wait to get to Duke, we are learning many things.

- We are learning patience... patience in waiting for God's perfect timing.
- We are learning trust... trust that she will be taken care of in His hands.
- We are learning to accept blessings... this is a hard one! But we have learned to accept the blessings of those that have brought us meals, prayed with us, and those who have gone out of their way to help us!

We are learning to just sit back and know that God is in control, we are not.

Life on the Lyons Rollercoaster

On Tuesday night, April 12th, we got a phone call from a friend who was at Reagan High School telling us Kayleigh had collapsed again. A few minutes later I called another friend who was there who said this time, it just looked different, then she began to seize. That earned her her very first EMS ride to the hospital! Since then, we have been in a whirlwind that we can't seem to escape.

Kayleigh had a significantly low heart rate (as low as 38!!!) and her blood pressure was very low as well. Since then, the symptoms have continued and she has had a massive headache (probably from the seizure); is weak, fatigued, and just washed out. She is really struggling with recovery of this episode and is losing weight.

In the days after she collapsed we had an MRI done (to rule out a tumor), we've seen neurology (to rule out a seizure disorder), and a cardiologist to figure out why her heart rate and blood pressure are so low. Every avenue they've suspected has become a dead end leaving us more frustrated and having more questions and have left the doctors baffled..... until last Friday.

After Kayleigh's most recent lab work, symptoms, and a few things that have happened to her in the past; Kayleigh's doctor here in Winston feels very strongly that she has Addison's Disease. Addison's Disease is an autoimmune disease where her adrenal glands don't work properly, causing very low sodium and cortisol in her body. When you have low sodium your heart begins to slow down and not beat properly causing you to lose consciousness. Low cortisol causes your body to not recover well after any trauma or illness. It explains so much that has happened to Kayleigh over the last few years!! For the first time in a LONG time, Kayleigh smiled and felt some relief that she has an answer!!

Kayleigh has already began one of the treatments for it and they are working on adjusting the medication to help increase her sodium level and improve her heart function. In the meantime, her medical care is being transferred to Duke Medical Center in Durham where they will continue the final testing for Addison's and adjust her medications. She will have a long road ahead of her to get it all straightened out, but once it is she can live a completely normal life; and this we are thankful for!!!

Through it all... Kayleigh's boyfriend, Justin, has stood by her side firmly. I tell ya... he's just as much her advocate as we are! Just today he called me and said "why can't they do this sooner?". He has been her rock and has held her tight when she's needed it, yet backed away when he knew she needed that too.

Kayleigh's youth leader, and my dear friend Cindy has also been a huge support. Cindy spent an entire afternoon and evening with us, and even stayed with us at the hospital during one her tests. As a matter of fact... she asked more questions of the nurse than I did during Kayleigh's echocardiogram!! But for that, I am grateful because my mind was in no shape to even think about what I should be asking!!

And JUST to keep us on our toes... Kayleigh had a funny mole that felt "lumpy" under it. Her doctor felt it needed removed because of it's lacey edges, the way it felt, and my Mom's Melanoma. So, today, off we went. The whole thing took about 20 minutes once they got her numb and I got to watch it all! (Have to admit... it was pretty cool!) Anywhoo.... it ended up being a bit bigger and deeper than anticipated, but she handled it like a trooper! So far she has felt no pain, but I'm guessing that will change overnight!

Our church family at River Oaks have been praying continuously for her, our youth pastor (Chip Herrera) stayed at the hospital one night until 2am with us, meals have been delivered, friends stopped by and called to check in on her, and my boss has been MORE than understanding and allowed me to be flexible so that I can be with Kayleigh at appointments, tests, and procedures. It is with tears in my eyes that I say we are SOOOOOOO very grateful to each and every person who has walked this journey with us and for the love they have shown to Kayleigh and to our family.

So... that's Life in the Lyons Family over the last 3 weeks... we're so ready to get off the roller coaster, but we are just now climbing the hill and have a way to go before it stops!

Cancer SUCKS!

Too many people in my life have fought cancer and lost... But this time, it's different and more of a reality check for me.

I met my sweet friend Heidi 5 years ago, shortly after we moved to North Carolina. A few months after we met, we flew to St. Louis together for training. She knew I was afraid of flying and we chatted a lot on the flight. That's when we realized how much in common we had....

-Heidi and I are the same age.
-Heidi and Matt have been married as long as Mike and I have.
-Heidi has 4 children like we do, the oldest being 17 for both of us.
-Heidi is also an Occupational Therapist.
-Heidi and I have worked for the same companies while in NC.
-Heidi is from Defiance County.... moved here for work like we did.

Heidi has been battling breast cancer for less than a year...

LESS THAN A YEAR!

On Wednesday of this week she came home from the hospital for one final time on hospice care until she's welcomed Home into the arms of Jesus any day.

I think that all the things we share are what makes it even harder for me. I can easily picture myself in her place right now... me having to make tough decisions about my life... my family going through what her family is going through.

Then I think about her young daughter won't have her Mom to be there for her first date... for her first prom... for her wedding. There are all those special moments that a mother and daughter share. There are also special moments with her boys that will never come for her, or them. She won't be here for graduations, birthdays, and so much more!

Then I have the piece of me that realizes a friend of mine, my age is losing her life. MY AGE!
There's just so much life left to live when you're only 39...

So...

I will hug my kids a little harder.
I will tell them I love you a little more.
I will tell them "maybe later" a little less.

Because tomorrow... it could be me.