Our Cornerstone

This last week has been a beat down on us...  our trusted neurologist at Mayo being overbooked and Mike's appointment getting pushed to JANUARY and we're just in limbo with Mike still not able to work due to pain, dizziness, fatigue, and all the other fun stuff that comes with Chiari; and 2 days from now marks 4 months of him being off work.  My emotions have gone from angerness to bitterness to sadness to confusion to doubt to worry to frustration, and then starts all over again!  Admittedly, I have not gone to my knees ONCE this week about it all...  I've let my emotions and frustrations take over...   (insert head hung down in shame).

I was texting back and forth with John Friday afternoon (our friend and pastor) and told him we were feeling discouraged after the events of the last few weeks, especially this week.  He shared with me that he's prayed a lot over Mike's health and, lately, he really feels like we are nearing the end of not having answers, that he really feels like God is about to do big things and that Mike will feel better, like a switch just fixes it, and that God is going to use this all for big big things.  I shared that text with Mike Friday night as we t.alked through what the next few months could look like as we wait to see the neurologist in January.

Sunday mornings we have Riverview Church at John and Laurie's house, it's something I look forward to every week.  Digging into the word with friends, fellowship, and solid prayer.  Saturday afternoon John called to tell us that this week would be cancelled because they are out of town for the holiday and forgot to tell us.  My heart kind of sunk and again, felt discouraged.  After the week we had, I really longed for that time together and it felt like the one place I know I can find comfort was yanked away.

About 30 minutes after talking to John, I saw a post on Facebook about Radiant Church.  It's a church I've gone to several times before we started officially meeting as Riverview on Sundays.  I texted Jen and we decided that we'd take the girls and go.  Before going to bed last night I spent some time reading my Bible and prayed for that same peace that John has....  a glimpse of an end to Mike's "suffering" close and tha tlife will soon return to "normal"...  whatever that may be!  This morning, Paige and I got up and around, picked up Jenni and Juli, and headed to Radiant.

 Little did I know how much I needed just a time of worship!  This one song imparticular touched me in a big way...  Hillsong United 'Cornerstone'.   With all the storms we go through in life, the fears we have, the weakness we have.  There is only one place that we can put our trust.  One source of hope.  One Cornerstone.

 I've heard the song several times on the radio and sang along as we drove from point A to point B, but never did it touch me like this morning.  I haven't done a good job of putting my trust in Him lately.... and suddenly felt it all being released to Him.As we sang my hand were held high and eyes closed with tears falling.....

Christ alone; Cornerstone
Weak made strong; in the Saviors love
Through the storm, He is Lord
Lord of all!

In that moment, my right hand suddenly felt warm...  comforted.  It was as if God Himself was reaching down and holding my hand and telling me "I've go this!  I am that one Cornerstone and you can fully trust in Me!".

I left there having that same peace that John told me he has.  God's got this and there is going to be such a story ahead of us, the steadfast love of God through the struggles, trials, pain, and suffering that Mike has had is going to be an awesome one that He will use to grow us closer to Him and to draw people closer to Him through it.

Colorado Update...

Last week seems like such a blur, but I'll do my best to update you all on how Mike's 3 day assessment at the Chiari Care Center at the Aurora Medical Center went, what was recommended, how today's appointment went with his PCP, and what's next....

First, let me say that Dr. Oro's office staff were ALL so very nice!  It was absolutely wonderful to talk to medical professionals who truly GET it and acknowledge that Chiari Malformation is indeed a serious disease with too little research!  We are, again, beyond grateful to those of you who made this trip possible through your donations and fundraising on Mike's behalf!

The first 2 days were spent with the PA and the NP reviewing Mike's history, his initial surgery, a comprehensive health exam, lifestyle evaluation, CT scans, xrays, etc.  They explained the purpose behind everything they did and what they were looking for specifically, which was reassuring that they really do know their stuff!

Day 3 we spent with Dr. Oro.  He walked us through all of Mike's MRIs and scans pointing out different things, what was good, what could be a problem down the line, etc.  In the end, the good news is that there is no cervical instability and his chiari is still well decompressed with no crowding or spinal fluid blocked anywhere.  He said that the medical team and surgeon in NC did a great job and followed the same procedure that he uses.  Once he determined that bit of good news he went through a LONG list of conditions that are caused by Chiari Malformation and we talked through them one at a time, leaving 3 to think about:

1)  Basilar Migraine - Dr. Oro said that he has it on the list because he believes Mike does have it, but it is not prominent enough to be causing all of Mike's symptoms; just was something to be aware of.

2)  Spontaneous Intracranial Hypotension - I can't say that we completely understand what this means other than it's a spinal fluid issue caused by some sort of abnormality between the dura and the arachnoid space around the brainstem.  He said that the surgeon's notes appear that everything was done right so it is doubtful, but he couldn't 100% rule it out completely.

3)  Pseudotumor Cerebri - Dr. Oro has this at the very top of his list and feels it's most likely based on his symptoms, his elevated spinal fluid pressures and response to spinal taps, and scans.  This is also what our PCP here in AZ has thought all along and our Neurologist at Mayo has at the top of the list but hasn't fully committed to it other than he has done the 4 spinal taps as well as a whole realm of medications to try to treat it.  He really wanted to see what Dr. Oro found first before he moved forward with treating it using a shunt.

In the end, Dr. Oro recommended that Mike explore a grain free diet (he is very big on grain free b/c his research has indicated it can be linked with brain inflammation...  not sure we're buying into it yet though) and also talked to us about doing the 3 day inpatient stay here in AZ for a lumbar spinal fluid drain that would mimic what a shunt would do.  If Mike does well with it and it alleviates most of what is going on, then we know that having a permanent shunt placed would likely work.  If it doesn't, then Mike doesn't go through a brain shunt placement for no reason.

Our neurologist told us before we left to call his office when we returned so we could meet and go over all of this information and make some decision.  Well....  we called yesterday only to be told that another doctor was out on emergency medical leave and all the docs have had to cover the patients.  Unless it's a true emergency appointment, they can't get Mike in until FEBRUARY!  I nearly flipped out!  We are mid treatment, he can't function well, needs frequent rest breaks with simple tasks like folding laundry, blurred vision, can't drive, can't work, has trouble with word finding, hands are numb, headache of a 7 out of 10 24/7, etc....  and we have to wait until FEBRUARY?!?  I think not!  (FYI...  this is why I was so upset last night.)

Today we met with our PCP (who is FABULOUS by the way!).   He took all of Dr. Oro's recommendations, ordered some more labs (that Dr. Oro wanted), and then said that we should keep the February appointment with our current neurologist, but he is also setting Mike up to see a different neurologist in the meantime and sending him everything he has so that we don't have to start over.  We should at least have an appointment date/time by the end of tomorrow so Mike's not stuck because his pressures are rising again which is only making all of his symptoms worse and in his words, Mike's brain "is a ticking timebomb".  He also said that he can order the 3 day lumbar drain himself if we want to do that, rather than wait until February.  But I think our current though is let's wait and let this new neurologist handle that because Mike isn't fully committed to doing it yet.  As with anything like that...  there are risks.  And, as always, our PCP said to call him day or night with any problems or concerns.

So...  that's where we are.  Colorado gave us no easy answers, but did give us good direction and confirmed what our PCP and neurologist have been thinking.  Now it's just a matter of getting that ball rolling!

A Note On the Picture At the Top:  This picture is one of the images from the 3-D CT scan of Mike's skull.  I thought it was pretty cool....  if you look at it, you can see where they did the craniotomy!

God's Perfect Timing

This story starts July 31, 2012.  That’s the night that 3 incredible men came to our house to lay hands on Michael and pray over him in prep for his surgery the very next day.  A surgery that we weren’t sure would work or how he would be after he woke up from it.  That night, as these men prayed over him, he truly felt the power of God for the first time in years.  The next morning Michael felt a complete peace and told me he was going to be JUST fine….  and he was right!

During Michael’s recovery he spent a great deal of time in prayer and in the Word trying to discern what God was trying to tell him.  All things kept pointing to this big move to Arizona and in February, it happened.  We moved away from our friends, our church family, our jobs, our house, and everything that ever felt comfortable to us to help plant Riverview Church. 

In January, my lifelong best friend and her family made the decision to also move to Arizona.  This after MONTHS of her saying NO WAY!  We had started making plans to visit back and forth and were both at peace with that.  But when she was here in December to visit family, her father in law got very sick and suddenly they felt like they needed to be here.  She and her husband fought it for weeks... and they were especially concerned about their son.  While her husband was out on a drive he prayed about the decision.  While he was out praying their son told my best friend that they needed to move.  When she told her husband, they knew it had to happen. 

My first job in Phoenix didn’t quite go the way I had hoped.  The drive was HORRENDOUS…  it often took me 75-90 minutes ONE WAY in heavy traffic.  If you know me at all, you KNOW I hate traffic!  One morning on my way to work I found myself again stuck!  I called Michael in tears telling him I knew I needed the job, but I just didn’t think I could do it anymore.  After hanging up the phone from him I had words with God….  I honestly can’t even say it was a prayer, more me just saying out loud (and very loud) “ok God…  if I’m supposed to be in downtown Phoenix, you better make that clear today because I cannot handle this much longer!”.    At lunch that very day I received the phone call from Infinity Rehab about a job just 10minutes from my house! 

A few months into my job I got very sick, nearly passed out.  There was a doctor there that day that had me check my sugar and sure enough….  Sky high one minute and bottomed out the next.  A few days later he saw me and asked if I got an appointment with our doctor yet, knowing that we were new to the area.  When I told him no, the doctor we had planned to see couldn’t get me in for about 6 weeks he immediately said no – you call my office and I will see you Monday.  So, I did.  Michael took me to the appointment and at the end we asked Dr. M if he was familiar with Chiari Malformation….  Sure enough, he WAS and he was.  Michael was stable still at that point, but it was good to know he had a PCP who knew his disease.

July is when things got crazy with Michael’s health and we started seeing Dr. M for help.  Currently, Michael is seeing a Neurologist at Mayo Hospital here in Phoenix who has been great.  We know that Michael has high intracranial pressure, but there are some other issues as well that may be chiari related….  More and more it looks like they are.  We met with a neurosurgeon at Mayo a few weeks ago, but it just didn’t go as well as we’d hoped it would.  Not that Michael wanted surgery, but we wanted to know options down the road so we didn’t have to make any spur of the moment decisions.  After the appointment Dr. M (PCP) decided it was time for a 2^nd opinion and we agreed.

I, unbeknownst to Michael, had Michael’s records sent to one of the top Chiari surgeons in the US, Dr. Oro, in Aurora Colorado just to see what they’d say.  I didn’t want Michael to know because the chances of him taking Michael’s case were pretty slim to nil to none.  But, I felt strongly about doing it, and since our daughter moved to Colorado Springs when we moved here I figured IF they’d see him, at least she was very close .  Dr. M also started calling some colleagues of his and the plan was to discuss the 2^nd opinions with us at a follow appointment this past Tuesday at his follow up appointment.

Monday was a BAD day for Michael.  He spent most of it on the recliner in the dark with the fan on him.  Monday afternoon, Dr. Oro’s office called and said they’d see him!!!  I was shocked and honestly, my heart was pounding when I went upstairs to tell Michael the news.  We decided we’d talk it over with Dr. M the next day just to make sure we were doing the right thing.  Tuesday, Dr. M basically said if Dr. Oro was willing to see us, that we needed to go.  But we still had a financial piece of it to consider because it’s 12 hours from here and we’re already struggling financially with Michael being off work. 

When we got home from the appointment I sent my close knit group of friends a message to pray about the decision to go to Dr. Oro’s office in Colorado, specifically asked them to pray over the financial side of it because it was looking like we weren’t going to be able to go.  The next day, one of the ladies asked me to call her.  That phone call blew me away.  They all felt like they needed to do something tangible for us, but weren’t sure what or why.  They had started talking about a benefit and even started planning it.  Once they found out about Colorado being an option, it all became clear WHY it was on their hearts!  This benefit they have arranged will help us to go!

When I look back on all of this…  God is in it EVERYWHERE I look!

• The guys prayed over Mike.
• Mike felt and heard God speaking to him.
• We moved to Arizona and our daughter moved to Colorado.
• My lifelong best friend and support moved to Arizona, without her I would be lost!
• A full time position was opened at my job that they only interviewed me for.
• I got sick at work and need a primary care doctor fast, Dr. M was the doctor at work that day
• Dr. M knew not only what Chiari was, but recognized that it is more than “just a headache” as many doctors say
• Without Dr. M we wouldn't have had what we needed to get in to see Dr. Oro in Colorado.
• Without God speaking to our friends back home we wouldn’t be able to GO see Dr. Oro.
• Our daughter just happens to live 45 minutes from Dr. Oro’s office and the hospital he works out of.
• If we would not have moved to Arizona, Kayleigh would not have moved to Colorado.
• If we still lived in North Carolina we would be lost with no Chiari specialist anywhere close to us and we would never have considered Dr. Oro because it’s the opposite end of the country!

Michaels’ story is not over yet.  One thing is certain though, God is still knitting it all together for HIS glory and purpose and I look forward to the day where we will stand up in front of Riverview Church and share our story of faith so that someone else may feel encouraged!

No Words....

The events of the last few days have left us with no words...  I can't even come up with a title for this post because I think I am still in disbelief over it all.

We are so blessed and grateful to wonderful friends who love us and support us even from 36 hours away!  They have planned a yard sale/bake sale/silent auction benefit has been arranged in Michael's name.  It is being held next Saturday, September 28th, in the vacant lot that borders the Lewisville square from 8am to 12pm with the silent auction closing at 11:30am.

There are some people who have said they want to help, but would rather just contribute financially, and others who live in other states who have also said they want to be involved.  There is an online site that can be used, click  Loving the Lyons Family  to make online contributions.  (Please note, YouCaring is a free service for those in need, but expensive to maintain, so there is a question on the payment page in the middle that asks if you’d like to donate to the site.  It automatically prefills it at 5%, but you can click “Edit this Amount” and make it $0.00 or another amount if you so choose.)

If you have any questions at all or want to help in some way, please contact

Angie Hutchins at hutchbunch@gmail.com (336-776-8290) or

Cindy Dietrich at cmdietrich@mac.com (336-575-0677).

Michael and I do not have the words to adequately tell you all how much we love and appreciate your prayers, love, and support!  Thank you just doesn’t seem like enough! 

Matthew 11:28...

I get asked about every day "How are you?" or "How is Mike today?". My response is usually "We're ok... taking things one day at a time."

But if I'm keeping it real.  I can't speak for Mike, but I am not ok. Period.

I am angry.
I am sad.
I am frustrated.
I am tired.
I am worn out.

I am angry that we are finding ourselves again in the midst of a medical mess that no doctor can seem to stop.  I am angry that Mike endured a brutal surgery and recovery a year ago and listened closely for God's call through it all and obeyed what we felt He was asking us to do.  We up and moved our family across the country, got here, and he is suffering yet again.  I am just angry that we have had more "junk" happen to our family than any other family we know in the 22 years we've been married..  we have endured everything from the loss of best friends, to serious illness, to unexpected job changes, to troubled teens, to financial chaos, to stress in our marriage... we've seen it all. Way more than what I (selfishly) think should be our fair share!

I feel sad and alone. When we left North Carolina, we moved away from the most stability we have ever had in our lives.  Our friends and church family, the doctors we trust, hospitals we know are all so far away.  We don't know many people here outside of the 2 other Riverview families, and the doctors and hospitals are all new to us; forcing us to start all over.

I get frustrated when there are times when Mike really SHOULD go to the emergency room and has been TOLD to go by his doctors, but flat out refuses because of a bad experience we had at the first hospital we went to.  Instead...  I sit here waiting and watching him, afraid that he won't go until it's so bad I can't get him to the car, let alone to the ER.

I am tired of constantly worrying about what is around the next corner that is going to hit us head on! I am especially tired of seeing my husband battle this "disease" day after day, unable to even get through half of grocery store without become weak, fatigued, off balance, shaky, and sometimes confused; let alone get through a day of work.

I am worn out from trying to work 40 hours to make ends meet, get to doctors appointments, take care of kids school stuff, do the shopping, run the errands, and then going to bed at night not sleeping because I"m trying to figure out how to make it all work the next day.  I am just worn out, plain and simple...

I  hear people say "I don't know how you do it" or "you are so strong". Everyone assumes I am so strong and have it all together. I do not. I promise you....  I absolutely do not!

Matthew 11:28... "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

Father God, our family is weary. We are tired. We need Your help for peace and rest. Amen.

Our Love Story....

I came across this picture on a social media site today and it got me thinking about the love of MY life....

Four times he held my hand, wiped my sweat, fed me ice chips, endured some broken fingers (true story) and then kept me calm as doctors ripped open my belly to deliver our babies.  Afterwards, he helped me get in and out of bed, change my clothes, shower, and yes....  even go to the bathroom!

Three times he dealt with weeks of my emotional outbursts that came and went when my hormones were out of whack after losing babies.

He has held my hair back and kept cool cloths on my face when I was terribly sick on the bathroom floor, put me to bed, cleaned up the mess so that I could get some rest, and then he slept on the couch.

He has traveled thousands of miles in the car my fear of thunderstorms and traffic, kids who get carsick and have to stop to potty every other hour, spills, tears,and more in the car to take us home to visit family.

He let me run out of my house and fall to my knees screaming and yelling with tears flowing, and then held me tight without saying a word in the minutes after my Mom left this earth and continued to just be there for me in the weeks thereafter.

He has packed hundreds of lunches, signed permissions lips, spent hours helping with homework, watched kids musicals, shook his head at the oldest playing in the dirt instead of playing outfield in t-ball, wiped away the tears after feelings were hurt, sat through hours of band concerts, kissed and put bandaids on boo-boos, sat bedside in pediatric ICUs, carried kids with broken bones to the doctor, given breathing treatments and midnight, and comforted kids after nightmares.

He has done more laundry than I ever have, washed more dishes, and cleaned up after me way more than I care to admit.

He lets me wrap my feet up in his under the blankets when I'm cold and lets me snuggle when he really hates snuggling, even after a night of arguing over something that we don't even remember the next day.

He has never run through an airport to stop me from getting on a plane.....

But he HAS ran through a busy Detroit airport toting a 2 year old in one arm, a carseat and carry-ons in another; with his inlaws, me, and 2 more kids in tow so that we wouldn't miss our flight to Disney!

He is also patient, kind, and loving and I am forever grateful for the way he loves me!



 

Another Year....

Today would have been Mom and Dad's 46th wedding anniversary. They always had a special love for each other, one we can all look up to and learn from. If they fought or argued, we never saw it or heard it. All we saw was the love they shared between them.

After Mom died we watched my Dad grow weaker and really start to give up. He lost his smile and his reason for being the day she died. Until he met Cassie. Dad is now married to her, another very special lady, one who will never let us forget how much my Mom meant to my Dad, and to all of us.

Every year on my Mom and Dad's anniversary I think about something that my step-Mom said to me shortly before she married my Dad... "your Mom has made your Dad the man he is today, and for that she will ALWAYS be a part of our life." I believe that my step-mom is a gift from our Angel, my Mom, on special days like this.

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad, and thank you, Mom, for giving Dad someone to watch over him here on earth while you are in Heaven waiting for us all.

Who, Me?

As I look back over the last 10 months of our journey to Arizona, there was one resounding statement that I said to God over and over....  "Who, me?!?".  The day that Michael and I went and met with John and Laurie on their couch to talk about joining them in this mission I even said "we are the last people you probably ever though would be sitting on your couch talking about this".  I followed that up with asking them if they felt like we weren't "right for the job" if they would tell us.  John's reply was one that I have had to remind myself over and over again...  GOD put this team together, not John and Laurie.  For whatever reason that is yet to be revealed, God wanted us here.

But now that we're here I still have that doubt in the back of my mind.  How can a midwest girl who really didn't grow up in a church other than holidays and attending VBS to get out of Mom's hair in the summertime do this big job that's before us?  I'm still early on in my own journey with Christ and don't feel equipped, or dare I say comfortable, to lead others to Christ.  I read the Bible daily, multiple times a day usually, but I don't have Bible verses memorized to pull out of my head when someone really needs it.  I still use a topical Bible 50% of the time when I'm looking for something specific to help me through a day, or to send to a friend who needs encouraging word.  I'm the first to type out and say a prayer for others, but often when I pray with them 1 on 1 my words get jumbled and what comes out of my mouth isn't really what I am trying to say.  I've been immersed in a new state with people I don't know.  While I'm typically a pretty social person, getting to know people puts me on pins and needles.  I would rather someone introduce me to others and go from there than me introduce myself. 

But God chose me to be part of this team to build relationships and share the love of Jesus with the people in Arizona! 

This morning, as I was getting ready to go to John and Laurie's for our Riverview Church study on building community in Christ I was thinking about all of all of the things I've just mentioned.  I came downstairs, fixed my no carb no sugar omelet (that's a whole other blog post yet to come later), and sat down with my Bible some morning reading and opened it randomly and this is where it led me:

"Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God." 
2 Corinthians 3:4-5

A gentle morning reminder that I don't have to be a scholar who knows the Bible forwards and backwards.  I don't have to be outgoing and introduce myself to every person I meet.  I don't have to say the most eloquent prayer ever.  God has me here because he wants me here and all of those things that I think I'm lacking, he has figured out too.  My confidence is in and from Christ!

Are you in a situation where you feel you aren't "good enough" to be used?  Whether it be work, family, friends, church situations, or otherwise?  Start your days in prayer, seeking the confidence that only comes from God and let him lead you where he wants you.  I promise you...  it will be an exciting adventure!

God Brings Things FULL Circle!

Just over 2 years ago I wrote a blog post titled "Watching God Step In" after an appointment at Duke Medical Center with Kayleigh.  It was our very first appointment with a cardiologist and we didn't know what to expect, but we went in praying that something would happen to finally figure out what was wrong with our daughter.  What a day that was.  I won't rewrite the whole post, you can read it yourself, but I will say it all started with a very young doctor who was just a "fellow" at the time, learning the ropes of pediatric cardiology who recognized something was very wrong and managed to get her seen by echo that day, have a stress test, and see a special cardiologist.  This all led to her finally being diagnosed and got us on the road to her recovery.  That fellows name...  Dr. McCanta.

Over the last year and a half, Kayleigh has continued to improve every day.  She is stronger, eating better, gaining weight, running daily, and happier than we've ever seen her.  She continued to go to Duke for follow up after the "big scare" in the summer of 2011, and continues to just wow us all.  When we decided to move to Arizona she decided it was time to move out on her own...  and move to Colorado!  I have been worried about her, but her Daddy said she's doing fine, getting better, let her go.....".  So....  we did.  GULP!

Last week we traveled to Colorado to get her care established with a new cardiologist at Denver Children's Hospital and Pediatric Cardiology.  In the days before the appointment I started to worry (yeahhhh I know....  I gotta stop that!).  The biggest concern we had for her health was that she was feeling strong heart palpitations when she would be at work, on her feet, active, etc.  Normal for most of us, but for someone like her...  when it gets worse and stronger it can be worrisome.   And you know how some new doctors are....  they want to do their own thing, switch meds around, change doses, etc. etc. etc. and for the most part she was doing well so we didn't want any of that touched.  We just figured her meds needed "tweeked" a bit b/c she's gained weight and went to such a high altitude. 

Well imagine the relief we had when the doctor who walked in the room was THE Dr. McCanta from Duke Medical Center (on the opposite side of the country!!!)....  2 years prior!  THAT is absolutely God reassuring us that all was going to be JUST fine!  The appointment was LONG.   No....  the appointment was EXCRUCIATINGLY LONG!  But the outcome....  was nothing short of a miracle!

They explained to us that the stronger heart palpitations she was feeling is because her blood pressures and pulses are pretty much NORMAL without medication, indicating the muscles in the left ventricle of her heart are actually getting STRONGER.  This, my friends, is awesome news!  So what's happening is her heart is beating well on it's own, plus she's taking medication to help it along still, and then when she's active her heart is actually beating TOO strongly...  thus more palpitations!

So, the plan from here is that she will start a 30 day constant heart monitor that's attached to a cell phone type device constantly communicating with her cardiologist office for them to see/read at all times.  She can hit a button on it when she feels "funny" and they will be notified immediately and able to read it remotely.  (So cool!).  At the end of the 30 days (which isn't going to start until the week of July 20th), if all looks good, they will start to wean her off some of her heart medications!!!  Dr. McCanta did explain that that this is not an overnight thing.  He will do it one pill one dose at a time and the plan is to get her off all, or as many as possible, over about an 18 month to 2 year time frame. 

We are more than elated at the news we received and are so very thankful for ALL of the people who have prayed with us over the last several years through her illness, who brought us meals, who wiped our tears, who held our hands, who led us to stay steadfast, who helped us remain faithful in God's plan.  And here we are nearing what we pray will be the end of this long road for her with God bringing it full circle...  to that young fellow cardiologist who recognized the rare disease that had been taking Kayleigh's life away so that we can personally say thank you to him at the end of this road! 

One Year Ago Today....

One year ago today, right about 8pm Eastern Standard time on May 30, 2012 our world was turned upside down.  Michael became unresponsive for a period of time and it led to lots of doctors, MRIs, CT scans, labwork, and finally....  a diagnosis that meant he needed a risky brain surgery that may or may not help and may leave him having a massive stroke...  or worse yet...  take his life. 

Michael was scared, angry, and at times in denial that any of it was happening.  And me?  I was crushed and even broken at times when I saw the anger in him come out.  My husband was diagnosed with an illness that I had only seen once in my career as a therapist and it was NOT a positive outcome. 

But God knew what would happen....

Michael turned to prayer.

Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)  Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and leanr from em, for I am gentle and humbe in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. 

He came face with Jesus like never before. For the first time in his life, really relied on and had faith in Jesus to handle all the details.  And me, I had to say "OK God.  I am giving You my husband and I am trusting You with him, and with me if You decide to take him Home." 

This began the hardest year of our marriage, but at the same time, the most amazing year of our marriage because we grew in both faith and love like never before and everyone around us could see it.

1 Peter 4:13 (ESV)  But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.

God used Michael's illness and our story "to spread the aroma of the knowledge of Him" (2 Corinthians 2:14 (NIV)) as he began to share his story and revealed that we would be moving to Arizona because to bring Jesus to people that desperately needed Him.  To God be the praise for hearts that are changing through our story and Michael's illness! 

Matthew 6:34 (NIV) Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Michael is not in the clear, he never really will be.  There is no cure for what he has.  But, none of us are ever really in the clear, are we?  But, we are choosing not to worry, but to have faith in Him.  We will all experience illness, heartache, sadness, and even death here on this earth. But He is always there when we call out to Him. 

We are grateful we have today! 

We are thankful that God has used Michael's illness to get us where we are.  We are thankful for an AMAZING neurosurgeon who, with guided hands by the Great Physician, performed a successful surgery.  We are thankful for the team of nurses that cared for him in the weeks following his surgery.  We are thankful to friends and family for hours of talking things out and helping us through the toughest of hours. 

And most of all...  we are VERY thankful for the Church...  the PEOPLE that came, cared, loved, prayed, lived, and experienced all of the emotions with us.  Some of those people didn't even know us personally, but showed us what Christ's love is all about! 

Do I want to relive what started one year ago today?  Not at all!  But I wouldn't change one part of what did happen because it brought us to right where we are today!!

Settling in to Life in Arizona!

Mike and the kids arrived safely in Arizona on the 26th of March, 30 days after I got here.  The first week was spent sleeping on air mattresses and sitting on camping chairs, while we waited for our moving truck; but we survived it all.  Easter Sunday was a great day of friends and fellowship followed by a family hike about half way up a nearby mountain.  It's been so great to be all back together again and we seem to be finding our routine.

Mike got Paige registered for school last Thursday and she had the option of waiting until Monday to start, but the social butterfly in her was eager to get started right away!  So, Friday it was!  My original plan was to take her the first day, but she insisted on riding the bus...  then she wouldn't even let me walk her to the bus stop!  She came home from school and was immediately immersed in neighborhood friends outside, too busy to even share her day with us!  Today completed her first full week and her report from the teacher was fantastic! 

Chase just finished his first full week of homeschooling and we seem to be finding a routine with it.  Mike has given him some lengthy things to do, and he hasn't complained once.  He prefers to get up in the morning and get right to it, too!  He has even been reading - on his own - each day!  For those of you who know Chase well...  this is awesome news!

Also, in regards to Chase, we met his new pediatrician Wednesday afternoon and really liked him.  He read through all of Chase's reports and labs and did a thorough exam, spending over an hour in the room letting us ask all of our questions and he asked his.  In the end, because Chase does seem to be showing some improvement, we have decided to hold off on Rheumatology for now and see how Chase does.  They seem pretty certain that Chase had a bad case of  "Mesenteric Adenitis".  Basically, a nasty virus that attacks the mesenteric lining of the abdomin causing the lymph nodes to swell so much that it causes abdomonial pain and it can sometimes take a few months to recover.  So, as long as Chase continues to improve, this is likely the cause of his extended illness.  Praise God for good news!!

Mike has had 3 interviews in 4 days with the same theater company for an Assistant Manager position.  Mike went into it very honest with them about why we were here and told them up front that he won't work Sundays and he'd need one specific night off each week for small groups.  They were very agreeable to it all and seemed to like him.  We should know by late next week if he landed the job.  He's eager to get into a routine so that he can set some at home "office" hours to dedicate to Riverview Church and working on some local mission stuff.  And honestly, I think being at home all day is starting to drive him a bit batty and it's only been 2 weeks!  LOL!

I am LOVING my new job at Sante of Surprise with Infinity Rehab!  I wasn't sure how I felt about stepping down into a staff therapist position and giving up the reigns of being a director.  But, it has been so great and I get to come home to my family and not even worry about work!  Sante is a different kind of rehab too...  it's a culture change type of therapy.  The patients are called "guests" and they have so many choices and have a huge role in their daily care.  Right down to eating in the Bistro or restaurant whenever they want.  They go in alone or with friends/family, sit at a table, a server takes their order, etc. etc. etc.  Really makes them feel like people and not just a patient.

We miss Devin and Kayleigh like crazy, but we know that they are happy and doing well.  Kayleigh is settling in to her apartment in Colorado and started back to work this week.  She and Justin are hoping to be here in mid-May for a quick visit and to get the rest of her stuff that Mike brought here to Arizona.  Devin was transferred to Eglin Air Force Base in mid March and loves being near Destin Beach!  We hope to see him around the July 4th holiday. 

A huge thank you to everyone who has prayed for our family and supported us through this entire process!  With all the spiritual warfare that tried to attack from the minute we made this decision to us physically landing in Arizona; I am certain that God has big things planned and we are ready to do whatever it is He has planned for us!

My Story...

The last week I was in Winston I was asked to share "my story" not once, but twice.  I never really thought about it until I received the email asking if I was comfortable doing so.  I almost replied "no thank you", but at the same time I knew that this is part of why we moved to Phoenix and my story is what would help me connect to the people here who need Jesus in their lives.

I didn't grow up in a church.  My Mom would take us some Christmases and Easters, and she would enroll us in the town's Vacation Bible School, but there wasn't any carryover at home and we never really talked about it.  Don't get me wrong, I had GREAT parents who sacrificed so much just for us girls.  It just didn't involve church. 

When I was a "tween" is when I first started to realize that some other families went to church every Sunday.  I grew up in a very Catholic community and most of the kids I went to school with were going to CCD after school on Wednesdays and prepping for their Confirmations.  I was curious and I'd say that during my tween years is when I first started to have a longing to see what it was all about. 

My parents had friends who attended another church and we grew up with their kids, Michelle and BJ.  I would often try to manipulate my way into staying the night with them so that I could go to their church with them on Sunday mornings.  I loved singing the songs and would pray along with my eyes tightly closed that we could come every week, can't say that I understood much of the preaching.  As we got into early high school we stopped spending as much time with them because we were all busy with different events...  band concerts, choir concerts, sporting events, and more!

Probably through most of my freshman and sophomore year I didn't think much about church.  I kept super busy with school things and it didn't leave much time.  Then I met Mike between my sophomore and junior year...

Mike's entire family is Catholic.  Mike was very involved in not only the Catholic church serving on Sundays and at church events, but he was also involved in the local youth group through the Nazarene church.  Again, I started to feel very intrigued and a longing to see what it was all about.  I started attending church with him probably my senior year when our relationship started to really grow.  After we graduated Mike started lectoring and greeting at church on Sundays and I was right by his side most weeks.  As he would drive me home I would ask him probably 50 questions about what the sermon covered!

We were engaged in November of 1990 and got married in November of 1991.  I decided that if we were going to be married and he was that involved in the church, even though I still had lots of questions, it was time for me to join the church.  So, at Easter time of 1993 I officially joined the church and our first child, Devin was born just a few months later; Kayleigh followed the following summer of 1994 and all seemed to be well.  We continued to attend each and every week and Mike continued to lector frequently.  But it seemed more like a Sunday morning routine than a relationship with God. 

We moved to Indiana University for college in 1996.  Right after getting there we sought out a Catholic church.  We went to two different ones....  but they weren't the same as our small little hometown church.  They were huge and no one seemed to be there for the right reasons.  We eventually stopped going because it drove Mike and I crazy.  I would continue to read Bible stories to the kids and we'd pray on and off at meal time; I'd continue to have a yearing to be somewhere on Sunday mornings, but we werent' doing anything about it. 

We moved home in January of 2001 after learning that my Mom's cancer was spreading and Mike's seizures started becoming a dialy occurence.  I would pray almost daily but Mike wasn't really too interested.  He had become angry and bitter with God about various things that had happened.  We went to Evansville, Indiana to visit friends over Easter in 2002 and on the way home from their house one of our kids said "so...  what is Lent anyway?  And who is the man they talk about dying on the cross?".  OUCH!  After that, Mike committed that even if HE wasn't interested in church, our kids needed to know what church was all about. 

We had a hard time getting going to a church that year because I was put on bedrest early on during my pregnancy and my Mom was very sick.  In November of 2002 Paige was born 9 weeks prematurely and then in April we lost my Mom to cancer.  Shortly after that, a friend in our neighborhood told us about Sonrise at Aboite.  We decided to give it a try.  The first Sunday I went I felt like I learned more in that hour about God's love for me than I ever had before!  And that longing that I had felt on and off for years had coming FLOODING back like never before.  We attended Sonrise every week and every week our kids were loving it, I was loving it, and I felt like I was growing.  It was probably the first time in my life where I truly understood that Jesus died on a cross to pay for my sins, to set me free. 

We moved to North Carolina in May of 2006 and started seeking a church right away.  We first attended River Oaks in the early summer, and we only attended once.  I don't remember what was said specifically, but the pastor said something that turned Mike off pretty quickly.  After that we visited a few other churches, but really had a hard time connecting anywhere. 

Our world changed in February of 2007 when Mike lost his Grandpa Molitor.  When we were home for Grandpa's funeral I watched from a few rows back as Mike cried genuine tears in the front row.  My heart broke!  On our way home Mike said he realized sitting at his grandfather's funeral, that we needed to get back to church, even if that meant it was the Catholic church.  The next week we went to Holy Family Catholic Church and shortly after decided to enroll our kids in the Faith Formation classes to "catch them up" on First Communion and Confirmations.  We DRUG Devin kicking and screaming every week and decided not to have him go through with the courses.  But Kayleigh and Chase both did.  I jumped in to teaching one of the CCD Classes and all seemed to be well.  We quickly fell back into the "routine" of it all.

In the spring of 2008 our entire family came to celebrate Kayleigh and Chase receivin their first Holy Sacraments through the Catholic church.  After our families left we were sitting at the dining room table for dinner and one of them - I honestly don't remember which one - said "so what was the big deal about Communion?".   Mike and I again looked at eachother and quickly realized we had really messed up!  We asked the kids, all of them, what they wanted.  Their response took us by surprise.... not ONE of them wanted to go to the Catholic church.....  and they all said River Oaks (the church that Mike walked out of the first summer in NC!). 

A few weeks later we were on our way to Holy Family one Sunday when we decided to attend River Oaks instead.  Our kids were so excited!  And again, like Sonrise, I left there that day feeling like I had really LEARNED something  about the Bible and I couldn't wait to go back week after week.  I began serving in the children's ministry and then in the youth, loving the time with the kids and learning more and more every week about the love of Jesus and what community meant. 

Many people can say they know the exact date they gave their life to Christ.  For me, I can't say that.  It was more of a gradual process.  God was chasing after me from the time I was a little girl.  Letting me know that He was there when I truly looked for him.  The first seeds were planted many years ago at Emmanuel Baptist Church in Paulding with the Beiswenger family.  Those seeds continued to be nurtured at the Catholic churches we attended and then at Sonrise.  Somewhere in the first two years at River Oaks, they took off and before I knew it I was planting seeds in others lives, experiencing what true community was during some of the hardest days of my life, and then was just on fire to share the love of Jesus with people around me! 

The cool thing about my story is how it plays into Mike's story....  he'll have to write his out himself.  But, I will say I prayed week after week on Sundays as Pastor Beaty said his closing prayer, with my hand on Mike's knee, that God would pierce his heart.  That God would take a hold of Mike and show him that he is loved and that He had a plan for Mike.  After several years of prayng, God has gotten a hold of Mike in a way I NEVER could have imagined.  That fire inside of Mike has led us to Phoenix and I cannot wait to see how we grow together in our marriage, and in our faith as we share our story of persevereance and faith with others!

That, my friends...  is my story!  And it's only just beginning!!

"That's Awful Brave of You"

This is something that's been on my mind every since our meeting with the Arizona team on Sunday because it's something that has happened to all of us ...  so please bear with me as I get my thoughts down.

When we started telling people we were moving and WHY we were moving, we got all kind of responses.  Many of the others in our group got them too...  Here's a few of my "favorites":

- WHY would you want to do that?
- What if the church flops?  (yep...  someone said that!)
- What about a job for Mike, he can't JUST do church and mission work?
- What will we do without you here?
- What about your family here?
- MIKE'S gonna do that?

and my personal favorite that came to me just today.... 

- That's awful "brave" of you!

Not many have said "That's awesome and I'm so excited to see what's ahead of you!". 

Now, don't get me wrong.  I know that everyone who has said the above really do mean well and in no way are trying to be mean.  In their minds, it just doesn't seem "sensible" to pack up and move across the country for the reason we are going, to help start a church.  It just opens my eyes to the fact that acting on 100% faith is something that not many people do and that makes me a bit sad.

So, in response to those of you who have asked the questions like why, or commented on how "brave" it is would start simply with this:  Because the Bible and the Lord call us to follow Him and trust in Him in ALL things!   1 Corinthians 11:1 He commands us "Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.".   

Michael very strongly felt this pull that he was being called to follow the Williams and share the word of Jesus with others through his story.  To give encouragement to others.  To show others the love of Jesus and how it can pull someone from the darkest of places to a life of salvation when they just surrender all to the Lord. 

Have we ever done this before?  Nope... 
Are we nervous?  A little maybe. 

But in Matthew 4:19 we are assured that He will guide us in this.  It says "Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men".  Proverbs 3:6 goes further and says "in ALL your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight".  All we need to do is follow the calling and the Lord will lay out the rest, he will direct our path.  The Lord will give us the words to speak to those that need to hear it.  How?  That part doesn't matter to us.  We have faith that He will.  He CAN do "immeasurably MORE than all we could ask or imagine, accoridng to His power that is at work within us" (Ephesians 3:20). 

The other piece of this is when we considered the alternative...  what choice do we even have?    Afterall..  aren't we warned in Matthew 7:21 "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord' will enter hte kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven."?  Not sure about you...  but this places in me a bit of fear that says "I'm asking you to follow me, to serve others, to share my Word... and if you don't do it with 100% of your heart and soul.... " well.....  you get the picture. 

We've been doing a Chan study with our core team where he uses this analogy that I LOVED and really made it a clear picture.  If you tell your child to go clean their room, do they go in their room for a while and come back out saying "Dad.....  I MEMORIZED what you said to me"!  Or better yet, "I know you SAID to clean my room, but I am so busy with friends, and school, and baseball that I just don't have time, and I'm sure someone else can do it since I'm so busy".  Ummmmm...  Not sure about you...  but I'm not ABOUT to tell the Lord Himself at my time of judgement "Father God, I know your Word said to serve others and love others with your heart and soul, but I was so busy with work and driving my kids around to events, that I just didn't have time, and besides, there was another family in our church that did most of that so I didn't have to."

We are doing something that we have never ever done before in our lives and the closer the move gets to us the more "persecuted" we feel.  Satan is digging in where he knows we are the weakest, but we are not letting go of the promise that God has given us, that He is preparing a place for us in the Heavens. 

Wouldn't this world look much different if we all did this?