Helping to Carry the Cross

(This is not an easy post for me to write and it comes after many tears and much prayer.)

Mike has been sick now since last July...  9 months and counting.  After much discussion and encouragement from his medical team back in September, he (very) reluctantly realized he would not be able to work in the capacity he used to and would need to file for disability.  It crushed him and one night I just held him as he had tears in his eyes apologizing to me because "this is not how it's supposed to be".  It truly was one of THE hardest things he's ever done.

Fast forward...   About 2 weeks ago you may have seen that I posted on Facebook his disability application was denied by the Social Security Administration.  It stated "while your disease process significantly limits you and makes it difficult for you to have gainful employment, you are able to do simple tasks".  Gotta love it!  We were warned that the first application would more than likely be denied and we'd have to appeal, but we were very frustrated regardless.  Our attorney filed our appeal last week and advised us that the whole process could take up to 18 MONTHS!

While we are very thankful to have health insurance through my work, we have now been down one entire income for 9 months.  And now, we're told it could be up to ANOTHER 18 months before some of that income is replaced.  The copays, coinsurances, deductibles, over the counter medications, travel to and from Mayo, and living expenses keep adding up and the burden has become difficult.  We have been praying about Mike's illness and the financial impact it has had on us daily, several times a day even.  Just pleading with God to show us the way, show us how to just "make it" from week to week and to show us encouragement along the way.  Some days are harder than others...  but we keep pressing on.

Last week was Easter.  I spent a great deal of time through the week reading about what Jesus went through for us, how he suffered and what that suffering meant for me.  One verse really stuck out to me and as I've prayed about Mike this week it just keeps coming back to me.  Luke 23:26 reads "As they led him away (Jesus), they (Roman soldiers) seized Simon from Cyrene, who was on his way in from the country, and put the cross on him and made him carry it behind Jesus.".  You see, even Jesus needed help carrying His cross in crisis.  Jesus didn't say "No, I can do it myself!"...  he humbled himself and when he couldn't carry his cross anymore someone helped him.  How relieved he must have felt to have that heavy burden lifted, even for just a short while.  As I pondered this, I realized that if Jesus needed help carrying His cross...  we can admit when we need help carrying ours and I began to pray about that specifically.

Last October, dear friends of ours in North Carolina held a garage sale/silent auction benefit to help us get Mike to Colorado for a consult with a leading surgeon.  Along with that benefit, this website was set up for those who couldn't make it or wanted to just donate directly.  We both had forgotten about it and Mike even though that the site was taken down after the benefit,  But, last week we had a random notification that someone wanted to privately donate.  (Coincidence?  I tend to think not.).  We went to it and looked, and sure enough, it's still open through the end of July.  It is now updated with new information on how Mike is and where things lie with his plan of care.

As always, our biggest need is prayer,  I believe that God is still a God who performs miracles and can heal Mike completely, restoring him 100%.  But, if you are able to and have a desire to financially contribute, you can do so through the YouCaring page and know that the funds received are helping to ease the burden of treatment related expenses and the debt it has generated.  Also, if you feel led to do so, please share with friends and family and ask them to pray about helping.

We thank you for walking this path, and praying with us along the way!

11 Years....

I can't believe it's been 11 years since the day Mom left us.  It was a beautiful Palm Sunday morning...  much like today.  Shortly before 10am she was surrounded by many of her family...  my sister and I, her siblings, her parents, my Dad's sisters, and my father holding her hand tightly.  We were all telling her we loved her, we would be ok without her.  They were the hardest words to ever say to the woman that we never wanted to let go of.  Finally, when we let our guards down, my Aunt Jeanie started talking about a singing, dancing, hamster gift and we ALL started laughing hard.  Probably the first laughter in that house in several days.  It was then, at 10am,  that Mom opened her eyes for the first time in about a week, looked at us, and then left this world for a world of no more pain or suffering.

Not a day goes by that I don't think about Mom.  She was my best friend, my first teacher, my confidant, and truly my hero.  I can't say that it ever gets easier to be here without her and I miss absolutely everything about her.

A wonderful friend once told me each day without her is a day closer to seeing her again and being reunited at the side of Jesus.  That is the promise that I will hang on to!

Jeremiah 31:13(b) - "I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorry"

What a Week!

Let me start by saying, while some may do it differently (even Mike at times) or not agree with sharing so much, I choose to be transparent about what Mike is going through because there are SOOOOO many people out there like him who suffer each and every day.   If reading about his story helps just one person be able to get help they need, then it's worth it.  The journey he has had with Chiari Malformation, Intracranial Pressure, Hydrocephalus, Syrinx's in his spinal cord, and the pain that comes with it has not been easy and is so misunderstood by most doctors.  But we have learned that sharing and talking to others who live it too gives us hope that all will be well if we just keep pressing forward.

Now...  for the update...

What a week!  It started Monday when Mike woke up feeling not well AT ALL!  He was experiencing dizziness again, was way off balance, hands and feet were numb/tingly, and had yet another massive headache.  He was either about to have an "event" or he had one overnight.  We just happened to have an appointment that morning with his seizure doctor at Mayo so I wasn't too concerned, I knew she'd assess him there.  The ride to Mayo was AWFUL!  On more than one occasion I thought we were going to have to stop (it's about an hour drive) because his dizziness was so bad.  In the parking lot at Mayo he took a Meclizine in hopes of stopping the world from spinning around him and we slowly made our way up to 5W.

We knew going into this appointment that she was likely going to put him in the hospital for some more intense seizure monitoring even before the way he woke up.  We prayed about being able to make a decision on whether or not to do it the night before in group.  After Dr. N saw Mike and talked to us a bit about how he's been she gave us our options...  continue to wait and see (which clearly wasn't working and he couldn't hide that from her) or an inpatient stay.  She really felt that the inpatient stay was the only way they were going to see for sure what was going on.  Mike was feeling so bad that I don't think he really knew what he was agreeing to, but he agreed.

We finally got insurance approval Tuesday morning (I HATE INSURANCE) and he was admitted around 1pm.  The plan was to decrease the only anti-seizure med he takes and try to stress his body to have an "event" (they call seizures "events") while all hooked up to a 28 lead continuous EEG, 5 lead continuous heart monitoring, 24/7 video and audio surveillance of him.  They had safety precautions like I've never seen before!  Poor guy was belted and locked in to a bed with padded rails at all times unless I was in the room or a nurse was with him.  I really thought he was going to turn and run when he saw it all!

You can see the padded rails on the bed Paige is sitting on and the white strap across the bed is the belt that LOCKS when he was in the bed!  If you know Mike...  you know he's a TAD claustrophobic!  LOL!  ,And just to add to the joy, if he had to get up for anything he had to be harnessed and attached to a walking system that was either on the ceiling (in his room) or portable (when he was walking in the hall).

The  first 48 hours were pretty boring with nothing happening other than a bunch random testing.  Thursday afternoon I was supposed to work late, but ended up leaving early to go to the hospital.  I was also supposed to take the kids with me, but something told me not to and I called Jen to go get them from home and take them to her house.  At about 3:30 we got Mike up walking the halls in the contraption above with his nurse.  He did probably 20-30 laps around the unit and then went back to the edge of his bed.  Sitting there he said his hands and feet felt funny, but told the nurse he was ok other than his headache was starting to really be "cranking".  She got him locked back in bed and then the EEG tech came over the speaker and asked him to breathe in/out fast through his mouth for 3 minutes.  Midway through it things started to get funny.  I looked down at my phone to read a text that just came in from John Williams...  it was 4:18pm.  At 4:20pm it happened...  I replied 4 words to John...  "pray NOW, more later!".  Within SECONDS of the whole thing starting the alarms were all going off and the room was flooded with nurses, he was totally unconscious by then and not responding.

When Mike finally came to they started asking him all kinds of questions.  One of the nurses told him to remember the words "purple donkey" and Mike replied with "why the hell do I need to know that?"!  That's when I knew it was over and he was ok.  Once they had him stable he slept for the next several hours and then had another smaller spell around 6pm.   It was such odd mix of emotions...  we had been praying for him to "put on a good show" so they could get what they needed, but it was so hard to watch!  I called a friend I work with to tell her I would not be in the next day and ended up just sobbing over the phone to her!  The adrenaline had just let loose!

We also learned later that same night that his EKG earlier in the week wasn't quite right.  I questioned it, but the doctor didn't seem to think it mattered.  We didn't worry too much about it yesterday because Mike's seizure doctor was coming on the unit today for her 7 days on in the unit.  This morning she came in and spent a great deal of time with us going over everything they found during the week.

First and foremost, he is not having "epileptic" seizures.  They are "atypical seizure events" that are being caused by the pressure and pain in his head.  No real surprise to us.  She also went over everything else and gave us a good plan moving forward.

1)  He will follow up with cardiology within the next 2 weeks to review the EKG findings and decide what (if anything) needs to be done and if it's playing any part in his constant headaches. The first neuro he had most of the week didn't seem to think so b/c there were no changes on the EKG strip during the event.  But his doctor acknowledged that it does need looked into.   The EKG shows mostly electrical stuff that can be benign, but it also indicates a branch bundle block that will at the very least need followed from this point forward for changes.  And, common sense says if you're heart isn't beating the way it should and not pumping blood the way it should, you could have a constant headache.

2)  We are to follow up with his primary neurologist this week.  Chances are he will want another spinal tap to get an opening pressure to determine if that has any role in this at all.  If it's normal, they will likely put Mike BACK in the hospital for a 3 day inpatient stay of a DHE protocol to try to KNOCK the headache totally out and then try to adjust or better manage it on his meds in hopes of preventing further events.  If the pressure is indeed high and he gets some relief again from the tap, we may opt to pursue a 3 day hospital stay to do a 3 day lumbar drain to see if a shunt or something like that would help.  We will have to talk it all through with his primary neuro and go from there.  Either way, she said another stay may be coming within the next few weeks.

3)  We will follow up with her in a few weeks but at this point, she is not going to add any seizure meds because they aren't a typical seizure or epilepsy.  No reason to add more meds if a seizure disorder isn't the cause.  The meds would be useless.  If he has any more events at home I am to grab my phone and video tape the whole thing and then take it back to her.  He also has to monitor his weight daily now because the one med he's on has a side effect of weight gain and fluid retention which is not good for his heart or body.  If it starts to go up rapidly we have to contact her or his primary neurologist to make changes.

So, she gave him his walking papers and he was a happy man!

All in all....  it was a sucky week...  but we have some direction and know definitively it's not epilepsy or a true seizure disorder.  They do know for sure now that they have to get the pressures down and headaches under control to keep these events from happening which is way easier to do than managing a lifelong seizure disorder.

To those of you who also walk the same path he is walking, you are not alone!

To those of you that read all of this, prayed for us, or have helped in any way...  thank you from the bottom of our hearts for walking this with us!


**  Some have asked again how they can help.  Loving the Lyons Family Fundraiser site is still set up from the garage sale/silent auction that was held last fall.

People That Drift In and Out of Our Lives

I have always felt like God puts people in your life, and takes them out, at just the right time for a reason.  Sometimes, we don't recognize that until years later!  This week I came across a quote in a book that said just that.  It got me thinking about people in my life that, looking back, I KNOW were there for a purpose, or removed from my life for a purpose.

For me, I can see looking back that Michelle (Beiswenger) Johnson was the first of one that was put in my life for a purpose.  Our parents were friends and often spent every weekend together.  While my parents didn't go to church, hers did, and I loved going with them.  It was the first time I heard about "being saved" and the first time I really learned who God was.  I was a child though, and really didn't get it.  Just knew I really liked being with them on Sunday mornings.  As we grew older, and busier, our parents also grew busier and we didn't see each other as often.  We went YEARS without even knowing where the other person was.  We reconnected a few years ago, right after the birth of her last son, Isaiah.  I learned that she had gone on to marry another friend of ours, were very active in their Christian church and community, and she was about to have a very risky brain surgery to remove a tumor.  But her faith was so strong that she pressed on knowing whatever the outcome, it was God's will.  We spent days praying for her as she went through it all.  We also learned that we both were dealing with kids having the most bazaar health problems you could imagine!  We leaned on each other in a way we that no one else understood!  Then...  just a few years after reconnecting...  Mike got sick and needed brain surgery.  Michelle was there to pray through it and provide us with comfort knowing that with God, all things WOULD be ok...  again...  in a way that only Michelle could understand because she and Pat were there just a few years earlier.

The next person (or family) that impacted our life, and drifted away for a reason (I'll explain in just a minute) is Rebekeh Newhard, and her family.  Rebekeh and I met right around the time Kayleigh was born back in 1994.  They moved into the apartment complex we lived in.  We quickly became friends and spent hours upon hours together.  Right around the time of Kayleigh's first birthday Mike had a heat stroke, wasn't working, and we were beyond flat broke.  Our marriage was rough and things were just plain hard.  The night that Mike was in the hospital for the heat stroke, Jim and Rebekeh FILLED our house with food.  We came home and really saw what loving one another and serving one another and living in community was all about.  They never judged us for the very poor decisions we made at that time in our lives...  believe me...  there were plenty of them!  As we moved from house to house and town to town and they continued to help us, love us and really were the best friends we had.  Finally, in early 2000, we moved back home and not far from them.  Mike was sick and having several seizures a week and things just continued to be hard.  Jim and Rebekeh were there, continuing to love and "serve" us, but it was getting hard for them (we just didn't realize it).  Rebekeh finally ended the friendship and said some things that she really needed to say, but it hurt me to the core and I didn't think we would ever forgive each other.  Fast forward several years and she kept coming back to my mind and on my heart and I really couldn't figure out why, but prayed over it and eventually reached back out to her.   It was then that I realized we were "using and abusing" them in way that I never recognized and it was hurting them.  It had gone from us being grateful for the blessing of them in our lives to us EXPECTING them to be in our lives and do things for us.  I am grateful to have her as a friend again and have more respect for both Jim and Rebekeh than ever before.

Then, there is Cyndi (Connelley) Eskine.  Cyndi and I met while Mike and I were in college at Indiana University.  She was a single Mom of two young boys at the time, and worked for the university.  I believe in the beginning, we were put in Cyndi's life to help HER!  She was struggling as a single Mom and the boys needed a father figure in their life.  Both of her boys were fun to be around and they adored our kids.  We had them over a lot, and Cyndi and I spent a lot of "girls time" together while the boys stayed with Mike.  It truly was a joy to watch both Mark and Mitch grow up into fine young men.  After we left IU and moved back up North, we stayed connected but didn't get to see them as often as we wanted to.  Our kids grew up and Cyndi found the man of her dreams, Scott.  Her boys both went to college through ROTC, joined the Army, and later deployed.  We cried together as they left for war and we prayed with her all through it.  Then...   my son joined the Army.  I have the same flood of emotions that Cyndi had years back and she has been MY rock through it.  She understands being the Momma of a Soldier in a way that not many of my other friends can.

I could write pages and pages on the people that have drifted in and out of our lives.  These are 3 that have been on my heart a LOT lately and the 3 that I now can recognize how God has used them to grow us in our marriage, relationships with others, and in our walk with Christ.  I am beyond grateful to each of them and so thankful to call them friends!

Look at the people in your life.  I'm not saying all of them are sent by Go with a purpose, but know that he will use relationships and friendships according to His will for your life.  When you realize that and recognize that...  you will be blessed!

Today I Choose To Be Thankful

---From Michael

I feel like crap.

I know, that is one heck of a way to open a blog with a title like this, but it is the simple truth.  Actually, today I feel downright atrocious.  My headache is floating between the 7-8 range on the 10 point pain scale. My neck feels like it’s been replaced by a steel rod.  My endurance won’t allow standing for more than 10-15 minutes.  My visual and mental focus is making it tough to verify that what I am typing is correct.  My hands are fluctuating between being tingly and numb.  I’m kind of a mess, and, unfortunately, this has become pretty close to the norm for me.

Why am I thankful then?  If this has been my general existence for the last seven months…why be thankful for that?!?!?  The answer seems simple; because of yesterday.

Yesterday!  Oh yes, just yesterday I felt INCREDIBLE.  My headache was ignorable (3-4 range).  My neck was as loose as a swan’s.  My endurance was fine for everyday functioning.  My visual and mental focus was such that I could read normally and stay on task throughout the day.  My hands were fully operational.  I felt as good as I have in a very long time, and I did it without the assistance of any additional medications. 

Yesterday was a gift from God!

I knew it from the moment that I woke up.  There was a “pep in my step” that had not been there naturally for the last seven months.  I was able to shower and shave without feeling like I needed to sit down to regain my bearings.  I spent hours in the kitchen cooking various things while standing the majority of the time.  I was actually able to read my Bible…READ IT!  I have been relegated to listening to my Bible and trying to follow along for months, but yesterday I was able to read and comprehend what Paul was conveying. I was able to attend our Riverview group and actually socialize during our potluck and actively participate in our discussion.  I was able to actively spend quality time with my wife and children.  I was able to laugh.  I generally have to avoid laughing anymore because of the pain it causes in my head.  Last night one of the children made me laugh and I was able to do it heartily without any issues.  It may not sound like much, but for me it was like a day at Disneyland is for a child.

I realize that there are those reading this who are thinking precisely this, “Having yesterday is great, but you’re back to feeling like crap.  Doesn’t that tick you off?”

If I claimed that it wasn’t frustrating, I’d be lying.  There is nothing that I would like more than being able to feel great and resume a normal life again.  That is exactly what yesterday was about though.  Yesterday was short reprieve handed down to me from God.  Whatever this illness is, it has worn me down and, frankly, has taken me to a fairly dark place.  He knew this.  He knew that I was reaching a point where if I didn’t have “yesterday”, I would be closing in on a breaking point.

This morning, when I awoke feeling as I do, I felt that I was left with a choice: I could be angry for an incredible day lost or I could be thankful for an incredible day had.  Our Riverview study just finished up Colossians which is filled with verses regarding being thankful, but I felt compelled to move forward into Thessalonians this morning and there I found this:

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus…1 Thessalonians 5:18

I discovered that where I thought that I had two options, I had only one, and it was not even one of the two I was considering.  This is not about “yesterday”.  This is about EVERY DAY.  While I should be thankful for the incredible gift of reprieve that I was given yesterday, I should also be thankful for today, when I admittedly feel that darkness trying to pull me back in. I should be thankful for every single day that I am graced to experience on this side of life.

Being thankful is not simply an “if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands” agenda…Give thanks in all circumstances, this is our calling and this is what I shall do.

The Price of the Easy Road

I left the comfort and security of North Carolina almost a year ago now.  Mike and I both had good jobs, we had a great house that we loved (yep... that one in the picture), wonderful friends, a great church community, the beautiful mountains, and life was truly wonderful.  Life felt like a warm fuzzy blanket in front of a fireplace on a chilly night with the love of your life...  quite cozy and comfortable.  Then....  God threw us quite a curve ball and before we knew it, He was telling us to leave it all behind to move across the country...  and here we are today.

The first few months here in Arizona were exciting...  almost a honeymoon phase if you will.  Everywhere we went was a new adventure and we were excited about the church plant.  We were meeting often as a small group and we soon started to make plans for expanding and growing our group.  We were starting to see why we were really here in action.  But soon, things started to get hard for each family here.

For our family, it really spiraled downwards and we became weary very quick.  Mike got terribly sick again in July and was in and out of the hospital.  By the end of August he was pulled out of work by his doctors, was hardly able to function, often confused and had trouble putting words together, and he has been off ever since.  I won't lie...  it's been hard!   Finances have been tighter than they've been in years and it's often robbing from the next paycheck to pay the bills this paycheck.  Mike is unable to even get through a grocery store without extreme fatigue and dizziness setting in, often   leaving him on "house arrest".  

There have been times where we get weak.  We start to think about the "easy way out".  Believe me, we KNOW that we could pack up, move back to North Carolina, and even jump right back into our old jobs without skipping a beat and our friends back home would love it if we called today and said we're on our way.  One even joked with me that she is SURE God is telling her that we are supposed to move back (kidding, of course!)  We have a team of doctors there that know Mike and we trust.  Everything we feel secure in is in North Carolina.

But, is that what God calls us to do?  To run and bury our heads when times get tough?  To take the easy route when times get tough?  Remember, it's the devil's business to distract us from the goal.  The more we focus on what we see as reasons why we can't do what we're here for (illness, money, time, etc.) the farther away from Christ we will become, and the reason we are here to begin gets a bit far out of reach.  Is that going to please God?

Or does He want us to have faith in Him, stand tall, and do what we are here to do.  Afterall, He gives us a firm warning in Matthew 21 "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord', will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in Heaven".   When God calls us, we should have faith in His plan and be firm in that faith through ALL things.  Paul gives us great words in Philippians 3:14 when he says "press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus".  The goal is the smile of the Lord when He is able to say "Well done, good and faithful servant" to his children.

Things are GOING to be hard at times and we are GOING to be challenged.  My goal is to praise Him in all we do.  To persevere in times of trial and to give Him glory through it ALL...  the good, the bad, and the ugly.  And in the end, to let our story of faith and perseverance be a testimony to others that we are blessed to share His gospel with so that others may have the same hope in Christ that we have so that I may hear the words "Well done!".

Our Cornerstone

This last week has been a beat down on us...  our trusted neurologist at Mayo being overbooked and Mike's appointment getting pushed to JANUARY and we're just in limbo with Mike still not able to work due to pain, dizziness, fatigue, and all the other fun stuff that comes with Chiari; and 2 days from now marks 4 months of him being off work.  My emotions have gone from angerness to bitterness to sadness to confusion to doubt to worry to frustration, and then starts all over again!  Admittedly, I have not gone to my knees ONCE this week about it all...  I've let my emotions and frustrations take over...   (insert head hung down in shame).

I was texting back and forth with John Friday afternoon (our friend and pastor) and told him we were feeling discouraged after the events of the last few weeks, especially this week.  He shared with me that he's prayed a lot over Mike's health and, lately, he really feels like we are nearing the end of not having answers, that he really feels like God is about to do big things and that Mike will feel better, like a switch just fixes it, and that God is going to use this all for big big things.  I shared that text with Mike Friday night as we t.alked through what the next few months could look like as we wait to see the neurologist in January.

Sunday mornings we have Riverview Church at John and Laurie's house, it's something I look forward to every week.  Digging into the word with friends, fellowship, and solid prayer.  Saturday afternoon John called to tell us that this week would be cancelled because they are out of town for the holiday and forgot to tell us.  My heart kind of sunk and again, felt discouraged.  After the week we had, I really longed for that time together and it felt like the one place I know I can find comfort was yanked away.

About 30 minutes after talking to John, I saw a post on Facebook about Radiant Church.  It's a church I've gone to several times before we started officially meeting as Riverview on Sundays.  I texted Jen and we decided that we'd take the girls and go.  Before going to bed last night I spent some time reading my Bible and prayed for that same peace that John has....  a glimpse of an end to Mike's "suffering" close and tha tlife will soon return to "normal"...  whatever that may be!  This morning, Paige and I got up and around, picked up Jenni and Juli, and headed to Radiant.

 Little did I know how much I needed just a time of worship!  This one song imparticular touched me in a big way...  Hillsong United 'Cornerstone'.   With all the storms we go through in life, the fears we have, the weakness we have.  There is only one place that we can put our trust.  One source of hope.  One Cornerstone.

 I've heard the song several times on the radio and sang along as we drove from point A to point B, but never did it touch me like this morning.  I haven't done a good job of putting my trust in Him lately.... and suddenly felt it all being released to Him.As we sang my hand were held high and eyes closed with tears falling.....

Christ alone; Cornerstone
Weak made strong; in the Saviors love
Through the storm, He is Lord
Lord of all!

In that moment, my right hand suddenly felt warm...  comforted.  It was as if God Himself was reaching down and holding my hand and telling me "I've go this!  I am that one Cornerstone and you can fully trust in Me!".

I left there having that same peace that John told me he has.  God's got this and there is going to be such a story ahead of us, the steadfast love of God through the struggles, trials, pain, and suffering that Mike has had is going to be an awesome one that He will use to grow us closer to Him and to draw people closer to Him through it.

Colorado Update...

Last week seems like such a blur, but I'll do my best to update you all on how Mike's 3 day assessment at the Chiari Care Center at the Aurora Medical Center went, what was recommended, how today's appointment went with his PCP, and what's next....

First, let me say that Dr. Oro's office staff were ALL so very nice!  It was absolutely wonderful to talk to medical professionals who truly GET it and acknowledge that Chiari Malformation is indeed a serious disease with too little research!  We are, again, beyond grateful to those of you who made this trip possible through your donations and fundraising on Mike's behalf!

The first 2 days were spent with the PA and the NP reviewing Mike's history, his initial surgery, a comprehensive health exam, lifestyle evaluation, CT scans, xrays, etc.  They explained the purpose behind everything they did and what they were looking for specifically, which was reassuring that they really do know their stuff!

Day 3 we spent with Dr. Oro.  He walked us through all of Mike's MRIs and scans pointing out different things, what was good, what could be a problem down the line, etc.  In the end, the good news is that there is no cervical instability and his chiari is still well decompressed with no crowding or spinal fluid blocked anywhere.  He said that the medical team and surgeon in NC did a great job and followed the same procedure that he uses.  Once he determined that bit of good news he went through a LONG list of conditions that are caused by Chiari Malformation and we talked through them one at a time, leaving 3 to think about:

1)  Basilar Migraine - Dr. Oro said that he has it on the list because he believes Mike does have it, but it is not prominent enough to be causing all of Mike's symptoms; just was something to be aware of.

2)  Spontaneous Intracranial Hypotension - I can't say that we completely understand what this means other than it's a spinal fluid issue caused by some sort of abnormality between the dura and the arachnoid space around the brainstem.  He said that the surgeon's notes appear that everything was done right so it is doubtful, but he couldn't 100% rule it out completely.

3)  Pseudotumor Cerebri - Dr. Oro has this at the very top of his list and feels it's most likely based on his symptoms, his elevated spinal fluid pressures and response to spinal taps, and scans.  This is also what our PCP here in AZ has thought all along and our Neurologist at Mayo has at the top of the list but hasn't fully committed to it other than he has done the 4 spinal taps as well as a whole realm of medications to try to treat it.  He really wanted to see what Dr. Oro found first before he moved forward with treating it using a shunt.

In the end, Dr. Oro recommended that Mike explore a grain free diet (he is very big on grain free b/c his research has indicated it can be linked with brain inflammation...  not sure we're buying into it yet though) and also talked to us about doing the 3 day inpatient stay here in AZ for a lumbar spinal fluid drain that would mimic what a shunt would do.  If Mike does well with it and it alleviates most of what is going on, then we know that having a permanent shunt placed would likely work.  If it doesn't, then Mike doesn't go through a brain shunt placement for no reason.

Our neurologist told us before we left to call his office when we returned so we could meet and go over all of this information and make some decision.  Well....  we called yesterday only to be told that another doctor was out on emergency medical leave and all the docs have had to cover the patients.  Unless it's a true emergency appointment, they can't get Mike in until FEBRUARY!  I nearly flipped out!  We are mid treatment, he can't function well, needs frequent rest breaks with simple tasks like folding laundry, blurred vision, can't drive, can't work, has trouble with word finding, hands are numb, headache of a 7 out of 10 24/7, etc....  and we have to wait until FEBRUARY?!?  I think not!  (FYI...  this is why I was so upset last night.)

Today we met with our PCP (who is FABULOUS by the way!).   He took all of Dr. Oro's recommendations, ordered some more labs (that Dr. Oro wanted), and then said that we should keep the February appointment with our current neurologist, but he is also setting Mike up to see a different neurologist in the meantime and sending him everything he has so that we don't have to start over.  We should at least have an appointment date/time by the end of tomorrow so Mike's not stuck because his pressures are rising again which is only making all of his symptoms worse and in his words, Mike's brain "is a ticking timebomb".  He also said that he can order the 3 day lumbar drain himself if we want to do that, rather than wait until February.  But I think our current though is let's wait and let this new neurologist handle that because Mike isn't fully committed to doing it yet.  As with anything like that...  there are risks.  And, as always, our PCP said to call him day or night with any problems or concerns.

So...  that's where we are.  Colorado gave us no easy answers, but did give us good direction and confirmed what our PCP and neurologist have been thinking.  Now it's just a matter of getting that ball rolling!

A Note On the Picture At the Top:  This picture is one of the images from the 3-D CT scan of Mike's skull.  I thought it was pretty cool....  if you look at it, you can see where they did the craniotomy!

God's Perfect Timing

This story starts July 31, 2012.  That’s the night that 3 incredible men came to our house to lay hands on Michael and pray over him in prep for his surgery the very next day.  A surgery that we weren’t sure would work or how he would be after he woke up from it.  That night, as these men prayed over him, he truly felt the power of God for the first time in years.  The next morning Michael felt a complete peace and told me he was going to be JUST fine….  and he was right!

During Michael’s recovery he spent a great deal of time in prayer and in the Word trying to discern what God was trying to tell him.  All things kept pointing to this big move to Arizona and in February, it happened.  We moved away from our friends, our church family, our jobs, our house, and everything that ever felt comfortable to us to help plant Riverview Church. 

In January, my lifelong best friend and her family made the decision to also move to Arizona.  This after MONTHS of her saying NO WAY!  We had started making plans to visit back and forth and were both at peace with that.  But when she was here in December to visit family, her father in law got very sick and suddenly they felt like they needed to be here.  She and her husband fought it for weeks... and they were especially concerned about their son.  While her husband was out on a drive he prayed about the decision.  While he was out praying their son told my best friend that they needed to move.  When she told her husband, they knew it had to happen. 

My first job in Phoenix didn’t quite go the way I had hoped.  The drive was HORRENDOUS…  it often took me 75-90 minutes ONE WAY in heavy traffic.  If you know me at all, you KNOW I hate traffic!  One morning on my way to work I found myself again stuck!  I called Michael in tears telling him I knew I needed the job, but I just didn’t think I could do it anymore.  After hanging up the phone from him I had words with God….  I honestly can’t even say it was a prayer, more me just saying out loud (and very loud) “ok God…  if I’m supposed to be in downtown Phoenix, you better make that clear today because I cannot handle this much longer!”.    At lunch that very day I received the phone call from Infinity Rehab about a job just 10minutes from my house! 

A few months into my job I got very sick, nearly passed out.  There was a doctor there that day that had me check my sugar and sure enough….  Sky high one minute and bottomed out the next.  A few days later he saw me and asked if I got an appointment with our doctor yet, knowing that we were new to the area.  When I told him no, the doctor we had planned to see couldn’t get me in for about 6 weeks he immediately said no – you call my office and I will see you Monday.  So, I did.  Michael took me to the appointment and at the end we asked Dr. M if he was familiar with Chiari Malformation….  Sure enough, he WAS and he was.  Michael was stable still at that point, but it was good to know he had a PCP who knew his disease.

July is when things got crazy with Michael’s health and we started seeing Dr. M for help.  Currently, Michael is seeing a Neurologist at Mayo Hospital here in Phoenix who has been great.  We know that Michael has high intracranial pressure, but there are some other issues as well that may be chiari related….  More and more it looks like they are.  We met with a neurosurgeon at Mayo a few weeks ago, but it just didn’t go as well as we’d hoped it would.  Not that Michael wanted surgery, but we wanted to know options down the road so we didn’t have to make any spur of the moment decisions.  After the appointment Dr. M (PCP) decided it was time for a 2^nd opinion and we agreed.

I, unbeknownst to Michael, had Michael’s records sent to one of the top Chiari surgeons in the US, Dr. Oro, in Aurora Colorado just to see what they’d say.  I didn’t want Michael to know because the chances of him taking Michael’s case were pretty slim to nil to none.  But, I felt strongly about doing it, and since our daughter moved to Colorado Springs when we moved here I figured IF they’d see him, at least she was very close .  Dr. M also started calling some colleagues of his and the plan was to discuss the 2^nd opinions with us at a follow appointment this past Tuesday at his follow up appointment.

Monday was a BAD day for Michael.  He spent most of it on the recliner in the dark with the fan on him.  Monday afternoon, Dr. Oro’s office called and said they’d see him!!!  I was shocked and honestly, my heart was pounding when I went upstairs to tell Michael the news.  We decided we’d talk it over with Dr. M the next day just to make sure we were doing the right thing.  Tuesday, Dr. M basically said if Dr. Oro was willing to see us, that we needed to go.  But we still had a financial piece of it to consider because it’s 12 hours from here and we’re already struggling financially with Michael being off work. 

When we got home from the appointment I sent my close knit group of friends a message to pray about the decision to go to Dr. Oro’s office in Colorado, specifically asked them to pray over the financial side of it because it was looking like we weren’t going to be able to go.  The next day, one of the ladies asked me to call her.  That phone call blew me away.  They all felt like they needed to do something tangible for us, but weren’t sure what or why.  They had started talking about a benefit and even started planning it.  Once they found out about Colorado being an option, it all became clear WHY it was on their hearts!  This benefit they have arranged will help us to go!

When I look back on all of this…  God is in it EVERYWHERE I look!

• The guys prayed over Mike.
• Mike felt and heard God speaking to him.
• We moved to Arizona and our daughter moved to Colorado.
• My lifelong best friend and support moved to Arizona, without her I would be lost!
• A full time position was opened at my job that they only interviewed me for.
• I got sick at work and need a primary care doctor fast, Dr. M was the doctor at work that day
• Dr. M knew not only what Chiari was, but recognized that it is more than “just a headache” as many doctors say
• Without Dr. M we wouldn't have had what we needed to get in to see Dr. Oro in Colorado.
• Without God speaking to our friends back home we wouldn’t be able to GO see Dr. Oro.
• Our daughter just happens to live 45 minutes from Dr. Oro’s office and the hospital he works out of.
• If we would not have moved to Arizona, Kayleigh would not have moved to Colorado.
• If we still lived in North Carolina we would be lost with no Chiari specialist anywhere close to us and we would never have considered Dr. Oro because it’s the opposite end of the country!

Michaels’ story is not over yet.  One thing is certain though, God is still knitting it all together for HIS glory and purpose and I look forward to the day where we will stand up in front of Riverview Church and share our story of faith so that someone else may feel encouraged!

No Words....

The events of the last few days have left us with no words...  I can't even come up with a title for this post because I think I am still in disbelief over it all.

We are so blessed and grateful to wonderful friends who love us and support us even from 36 hours away!  They have planned a yard sale/bake sale/silent auction benefit has been arranged in Michael's name.  It is being held next Saturday, September 28th, in the vacant lot that borders the Lewisville square from 8am to 12pm with the silent auction closing at 11:30am.

There are some people who have said they want to help, but would rather just contribute financially, and others who live in other states who have also said they want to be involved.  There is an online site that can be used, click  Loving the Lyons Family  to make online contributions.  (Please note, YouCaring is a free service for those in need, but expensive to maintain, so there is a question on the payment page in the middle that asks if you’d like to donate to the site.  It automatically prefills it at 5%, but you can click “Edit this Amount” and make it $0.00 or another amount if you so choose.)

If you have any questions at all or want to help in some way, please contact

Angie Hutchins at hutchbunch@gmail.com (336-776-8290) or

Cindy Dietrich at cmdietrich@mac.com (336-575-0677).

Michael and I do not have the words to adequately tell you all how much we love and appreciate your prayers, love, and support!  Thank you just doesn’t seem like enough! 

Matthew 11:28...

I get asked about every day "How are you?" or "How is Mike today?". My response is usually "We're ok... taking things one day at a time."

But if I'm keeping it real.  I can't speak for Mike, but I am not ok. Period.

I am angry.
I am sad.
I am frustrated.
I am tired.
I am worn out.

I am angry that we are finding ourselves again in the midst of a medical mess that no doctor can seem to stop.  I am angry that Mike endured a brutal surgery and recovery a year ago and listened closely for God's call through it all and obeyed what we felt He was asking us to do.  We up and moved our family across the country, got here, and he is suffering yet again.  I am just angry that we have had more "junk" happen to our family than any other family we know in the 22 years we've been married..  we have endured everything from the loss of best friends, to serious illness, to unexpected job changes, to troubled teens, to financial chaos, to stress in our marriage... we've seen it all. Way more than what I (selfishly) think should be our fair share!

I feel sad and alone. When we left North Carolina, we moved away from the most stability we have ever had in our lives.  Our friends and church family, the doctors we trust, hospitals we know are all so far away.  We don't know many people here outside of the 2 other Riverview families, and the doctors and hospitals are all new to us; forcing us to start all over.

I get frustrated when there are times when Mike really SHOULD go to the emergency room and has been TOLD to go by his doctors, but flat out refuses because of a bad experience we had at the first hospital we went to.  Instead...  I sit here waiting and watching him, afraid that he won't go until it's so bad I can't get him to the car, let alone to the ER.

I am tired of constantly worrying about what is around the next corner that is going to hit us head on! I am especially tired of seeing my husband battle this "disease" day after day, unable to even get through half of grocery store without become weak, fatigued, off balance, shaky, and sometimes confused; let alone get through a day of work.

I am worn out from trying to work 40 hours to make ends meet, get to doctors appointments, take care of kids school stuff, do the shopping, run the errands, and then going to bed at night not sleeping because I"m trying to figure out how to make it all work the next day.  I am just worn out, plain and simple...

I  hear people say "I don't know how you do it" or "you are so strong". Everyone assumes I am so strong and have it all together. I do not. I promise you....  I absolutely do not!

Matthew 11:28... "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

Father God, our family is weary. We are tired. We need Your help for peace and rest. Amen.

Our Love Story....

I came across this picture on a social media site today and it got me thinking about the love of MY life....

Four times he held my hand, wiped my sweat, fed me ice chips, endured some broken fingers (true story) and then kept me calm as doctors ripped open my belly to deliver our babies.  Afterwards, he helped me get in and out of bed, change my clothes, shower, and yes....  even go to the bathroom!

Three times he dealt with weeks of my emotional outbursts that came and went when my hormones were out of whack after losing babies.

He has held my hair back and kept cool cloths on my face when I was terribly sick on the bathroom floor, put me to bed, cleaned up the mess so that I could get some rest, and then he slept on the couch.

He has traveled thousands of miles in the car my fear of thunderstorms and traffic, kids who get carsick and have to stop to potty every other hour, spills, tears,and more in the car to take us home to visit family.

He let me run out of my house and fall to my knees screaming and yelling with tears flowing, and then held me tight without saying a word in the minutes after my Mom left this earth and continued to just be there for me in the weeks thereafter.

He has packed hundreds of lunches, signed permissions lips, spent hours helping with homework, watched kids musicals, shook his head at the oldest playing in the dirt instead of playing outfield in t-ball, wiped away the tears after feelings were hurt, sat through hours of band concerts, kissed and put bandaids on boo-boos, sat bedside in pediatric ICUs, carried kids with broken bones to the doctor, given breathing treatments and midnight, and comforted kids after nightmares.

He has done more laundry than I ever have, washed more dishes, and cleaned up after me way more than I care to admit.

He lets me wrap my feet up in his under the blankets when I'm cold and lets me snuggle when he really hates snuggling, even after a night of arguing over something that we don't even remember the next day.

He has never run through an airport to stop me from getting on a plane.....

But he HAS ran through a busy Detroit airport toting a 2 year old in one arm, a carseat and carry-ons in another; with his inlaws, me, and 2 more kids in tow so that we wouldn't miss our flight to Disney!

He is also patient, kind, and loving and I am forever grateful for the way he loves me!



 

Another Year....

Today would have been Mom and Dad's 46th wedding anniversary. They always had a special love for each other, one we can all look up to and learn from. If they fought or argued, we never saw it or heard it. All we saw was the love they shared between them.

After Mom died we watched my Dad grow weaker and really start to give up. He lost his smile and his reason for being the day she died. Until he met Cassie. Dad is now married to her, another very special lady, one who will never let us forget how much my Mom meant to my Dad, and to all of us.

Every year on my Mom and Dad's anniversary I think about something that my step-Mom said to me shortly before she married my Dad... "your Mom has made your Dad the man he is today, and for that she will ALWAYS be a part of our life." I believe that my step-mom is a gift from our Angel, my Mom, on special days like this.

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad, and thank you, Mom, for giving Dad someone to watch over him here on earth while you are in Heaven waiting for us all.

Who, Me?

As I look back over the last 10 months of our journey to Arizona, there was one resounding statement that I said to God over and over....  "Who, me?!?".  The day that Michael and I went and met with John and Laurie on their couch to talk about joining them in this mission I even said "we are the last people you probably ever though would be sitting on your couch talking about this".  I followed that up with asking them if they felt like we weren't "right for the job" if they would tell us.  John's reply was one that I have had to remind myself over and over again...  GOD put this team together, not John and Laurie.  For whatever reason that is yet to be revealed, God wanted us here.

But now that we're here I still have that doubt in the back of my mind.  How can a midwest girl who really didn't grow up in a church other than holidays and attending VBS to get out of Mom's hair in the summertime do this big job that's before us?  I'm still early on in my own journey with Christ and don't feel equipped, or dare I say comfortable, to lead others to Christ.  I read the Bible daily, multiple times a day usually, but I don't have Bible verses memorized to pull out of my head when someone really needs it.  I still use a topical Bible 50% of the time when I'm looking for something specific to help me through a day, or to send to a friend who needs encouraging word.  I'm the first to type out and say a prayer for others, but often when I pray with them 1 on 1 my words get jumbled and what comes out of my mouth isn't really what I am trying to say.  I've been immersed in a new state with people I don't know.  While I'm typically a pretty social person, getting to know people puts me on pins and needles.  I would rather someone introduce me to others and go from there than me introduce myself. 

But God chose me to be part of this team to build relationships and share the love of Jesus with the people in Arizona! 

This morning, as I was getting ready to go to John and Laurie's for our Riverview Church study on building community in Christ I was thinking about all of all of the things I've just mentioned.  I came downstairs, fixed my no carb no sugar omelet (that's a whole other blog post yet to come later), and sat down with my Bible some morning reading and opened it randomly and this is where it led me:

"Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God." 
2 Corinthians 3:4-5

A gentle morning reminder that I don't have to be a scholar who knows the Bible forwards and backwards.  I don't have to be outgoing and introduce myself to every person I meet.  I don't have to say the most eloquent prayer ever.  God has me here because he wants me here and all of those things that I think I'm lacking, he has figured out too.  My confidence is in and from Christ!

Are you in a situation where you feel you aren't "good enough" to be used?  Whether it be work, family, friends, church situations, or otherwise?  Start your days in prayer, seeking the confidence that only comes from God and let him lead you where he wants you.  I promise you...  it will be an exciting adventure!

God Brings Things FULL Circle!

Just over 2 years ago I wrote a blog post titled "Watching God Step In" after an appointment at Duke Medical Center with Kayleigh.  It was our very first appointment with a cardiologist and we didn't know what to expect, but we went in praying that something would happen to finally figure out what was wrong with our daughter.  What a day that was.  I won't rewrite the whole post, you can read it yourself, but I will say it all started with a very young doctor who was just a "fellow" at the time, learning the ropes of pediatric cardiology who recognized something was very wrong and managed to get her seen by echo that day, have a stress test, and see a special cardiologist.  This all led to her finally being diagnosed and got us on the road to her recovery.  That fellows name...  Dr. McCanta.

Over the last year and a half, Kayleigh has continued to improve every day.  She is stronger, eating better, gaining weight, running daily, and happier than we've ever seen her.  She continued to go to Duke for follow up after the "big scare" in the summer of 2011, and continues to just wow us all.  When we decided to move to Arizona she decided it was time to move out on her own...  and move to Colorado!  I have been worried about her, but her Daddy said she's doing fine, getting better, let her go.....".  So....  we did.  GULP!

Last week we traveled to Colorado to get her care established with a new cardiologist at Denver Children's Hospital and Pediatric Cardiology.  In the days before the appointment I started to worry (yeahhhh I know....  I gotta stop that!).  The biggest concern we had for her health was that she was feeling strong heart palpitations when she would be at work, on her feet, active, etc.  Normal for most of us, but for someone like her...  when it gets worse and stronger it can be worrisome.   And you know how some new doctors are....  they want to do their own thing, switch meds around, change doses, etc. etc. etc. and for the most part she was doing well so we didn't want any of that touched.  We just figured her meds needed "tweeked" a bit b/c she's gained weight and went to such a high altitude. 

Well imagine the relief we had when the doctor who walked in the room was THE Dr. McCanta from Duke Medical Center (on the opposite side of the country!!!)....  2 years prior!  THAT is absolutely God reassuring us that all was going to be JUST fine!  The appointment was LONG.   No....  the appointment was EXCRUCIATINGLY LONG!  But the outcome....  was nothing short of a miracle!

They explained to us that the stronger heart palpitations she was feeling is because her blood pressures and pulses are pretty much NORMAL without medication, indicating the muscles in the left ventricle of her heart are actually getting STRONGER.  This, my friends, is awesome news!  So what's happening is her heart is beating well on it's own, plus she's taking medication to help it along still, and then when she's active her heart is actually beating TOO strongly...  thus more palpitations!

So, the plan from here is that she will start a 30 day constant heart monitor that's attached to a cell phone type device constantly communicating with her cardiologist office for them to see/read at all times.  She can hit a button on it when she feels "funny" and they will be notified immediately and able to read it remotely.  (So cool!).  At the end of the 30 days (which isn't going to start until the week of July 20th), if all looks good, they will start to wean her off some of her heart medications!!!  Dr. McCanta did explain that that this is not an overnight thing.  He will do it one pill one dose at a time and the plan is to get her off all, or as many as possible, over about an 18 month to 2 year time frame. 

We are more than elated at the news we received and are so very thankful for ALL of the people who have prayed with us over the last several years through her illness, who brought us meals, who wiped our tears, who held our hands, who led us to stay steadfast, who helped us remain faithful in God's plan.  And here we are nearing what we pray will be the end of this long road for her with God bringing it full circle...  to that young fellow cardiologist who recognized the rare disease that had been taking Kayleigh's life away so that we can personally say thank you to him at the end of this road! 

One Year Ago Today....

One year ago today, right about 8pm Eastern Standard time on May 30, 2012 our world was turned upside down.  Michael became unresponsive for a period of time and it led to lots of doctors, MRIs, CT scans, labwork, and finally....  a diagnosis that meant he needed a risky brain surgery that may or may not help and may leave him having a massive stroke...  or worse yet...  take his life. 

Michael was scared, angry, and at times in denial that any of it was happening.  And me?  I was crushed and even broken at times when I saw the anger in him come out.  My husband was diagnosed with an illness that I had only seen once in my career as a therapist and it was NOT a positive outcome. 

But God knew what would happen....

Michael turned to prayer.

Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)  Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and leanr from em, for I am gentle and humbe in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. 

He came face with Jesus like never before. For the first time in his life, really relied on and had faith in Jesus to handle all the details.  And me, I had to say "OK God.  I am giving You my husband and I am trusting You with him, and with me if You decide to take him Home." 

This began the hardest year of our marriage, but at the same time, the most amazing year of our marriage because we grew in both faith and love like never before and everyone around us could see it.

1 Peter 4:13 (ESV)  But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.

God used Michael's illness and our story "to spread the aroma of the knowledge of Him" (2 Corinthians 2:14 (NIV)) as he began to share his story and revealed that we would be moving to Arizona because to bring Jesus to people that desperately needed Him.  To God be the praise for hearts that are changing through our story and Michael's illness! 

Matthew 6:34 (NIV) Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Michael is not in the clear, he never really will be.  There is no cure for what he has.  But, none of us are ever really in the clear, are we?  But, we are choosing not to worry, but to have faith in Him.  We will all experience illness, heartache, sadness, and even death here on this earth. But He is always there when we call out to Him. 

We are grateful we have today! 

We are thankful that God has used Michael's illness to get us where we are.  We are thankful for an AMAZING neurosurgeon who, with guided hands by the Great Physician, performed a successful surgery.  We are thankful for the team of nurses that cared for him in the weeks following his surgery.  We are thankful to friends and family for hours of talking things out and helping us through the toughest of hours. 

And most of all...  we are VERY thankful for the Church...  the PEOPLE that came, cared, loved, prayed, lived, and experienced all of the emotions with us.  Some of those people didn't even know us personally, but showed us what Christ's love is all about! 

Do I want to relive what started one year ago today?  Not at all!  But I wouldn't change one part of what did happen because it brought us to right where we are today!!

Settling in to Life in Arizona!

Mike and the kids arrived safely in Arizona on the 26th of March, 30 days after I got here.  The first week was spent sleeping on air mattresses and sitting on camping chairs, while we waited for our moving truck; but we survived it all.  Easter Sunday was a great day of friends and fellowship followed by a family hike about half way up a nearby mountain.  It's been so great to be all back together again and we seem to be finding our routine.

Mike got Paige registered for school last Thursday and she had the option of waiting until Monday to start, but the social butterfly in her was eager to get started right away!  So, Friday it was!  My original plan was to take her the first day, but she insisted on riding the bus...  then she wouldn't even let me walk her to the bus stop!  She came home from school and was immediately immersed in neighborhood friends outside, too busy to even share her day with us!  Today completed her first full week and her report from the teacher was fantastic! 

Chase just finished his first full week of homeschooling and we seem to be finding a routine with it.  Mike has given him some lengthy things to do, and he hasn't complained once.  He prefers to get up in the morning and get right to it, too!  He has even been reading - on his own - each day!  For those of you who know Chase well...  this is awesome news!

Also, in regards to Chase, we met his new pediatrician Wednesday afternoon and really liked him.  He read through all of Chase's reports and labs and did a thorough exam, spending over an hour in the room letting us ask all of our questions and he asked his.  In the end, because Chase does seem to be showing some improvement, we have decided to hold off on Rheumatology for now and see how Chase does.  They seem pretty certain that Chase had a bad case of  "Mesenteric Adenitis".  Basically, a nasty virus that attacks the mesenteric lining of the abdomin causing the lymph nodes to swell so much that it causes abdomonial pain and it can sometimes take a few months to recover.  So, as long as Chase continues to improve, this is likely the cause of his extended illness.  Praise God for good news!!

Mike has had 3 interviews in 4 days with the same theater company for an Assistant Manager position.  Mike went into it very honest with them about why we were here and told them up front that he won't work Sundays and he'd need one specific night off each week for small groups.  They were very agreeable to it all and seemed to like him.  We should know by late next week if he landed the job.  He's eager to get into a routine so that he can set some at home "office" hours to dedicate to Riverview Church and working on some local mission stuff.  And honestly, I think being at home all day is starting to drive him a bit batty and it's only been 2 weeks!  LOL!

I am LOVING my new job at Sante of Surprise with Infinity Rehab!  I wasn't sure how I felt about stepping down into a staff therapist position and giving up the reigns of being a director.  But, it has been so great and I get to come home to my family and not even worry about work!  Sante is a different kind of rehab too...  it's a culture change type of therapy.  The patients are called "guests" and they have so many choices and have a huge role in their daily care.  Right down to eating in the Bistro or restaurant whenever they want.  They go in alone or with friends/family, sit at a table, a server takes their order, etc. etc. etc.  Really makes them feel like people and not just a patient.

We miss Devin and Kayleigh like crazy, but we know that they are happy and doing well.  Kayleigh is settling in to her apartment in Colorado and started back to work this week.  She and Justin are hoping to be here in mid-May for a quick visit and to get the rest of her stuff that Mike brought here to Arizona.  Devin was transferred to Eglin Air Force Base in mid March and loves being near Destin Beach!  We hope to see him around the July 4th holiday. 

A huge thank you to everyone who has prayed for our family and supported us through this entire process!  With all the spiritual warfare that tried to attack from the minute we made this decision to us physically landing in Arizona; I am certain that God has big things planned and we are ready to do whatever it is He has planned for us!

My Story...

The last week I was in Winston I was asked to share "my story" not once, but twice.  I never really thought about it until I received the email asking if I was comfortable doing so.  I almost replied "no thank you", but at the same time I knew that this is part of why we moved to Phoenix and my story is what would help me connect to the people here who need Jesus in their lives.

I didn't grow up in a church.  My Mom would take us some Christmases and Easters, and she would enroll us in the town's Vacation Bible School, but there wasn't any carryover at home and we never really talked about it.  Don't get me wrong, I had GREAT parents who sacrificed so much just for us girls.  It just didn't involve church. 

When I was a "tween" is when I first started to realize that some other families went to church every Sunday.  I grew up in a very Catholic community and most of the kids I went to school with were going to CCD after school on Wednesdays and prepping for their Confirmations.  I was curious and I'd say that during my tween years is when I first started to have a longing to see what it was all about. 

My parents had friends who attended another church and we grew up with their kids, Michelle and BJ.  I would often try to manipulate my way into staying the night with them so that I could go to their church with them on Sunday mornings.  I loved singing the songs and would pray along with my eyes tightly closed that we could come every week, can't say that I understood much of the preaching.  As we got into early high school we stopped spending as much time with them because we were all busy with different events...  band concerts, choir concerts, sporting events, and more!

Probably through most of my freshman and sophomore year I didn't think much about church.  I kept super busy with school things and it didn't leave much time.  Then I met Mike between my sophomore and junior year...

Mike's entire family is Catholic.  Mike was very involved in not only the Catholic church serving on Sundays and at church events, but he was also involved in the local youth group through the Nazarene church.  Again, I started to feel very intrigued and a longing to see what it was all about.  I started attending church with him probably my senior year when our relationship started to really grow.  After we graduated Mike started lectoring and greeting at church on Sundays and I was right by his side most weeks.  As he would drive me home I would ask him probably 50 questions about what the sermon covered!

We were engaged in November of 1990 and got married in November of 1991.  I decided that if we were going to be married and he was that involved in the church, even though I still had lots of questions, it was time for me to join the church.  So, at Easter time of 1993 I officially joined the church and our first child, Devin was born just a few months later; Kayleigh followed the following summer of 1994 and all seemed to be well.  We continued to attend each and every week and Mike continued to lector frequently.  But it seemed more like a Sunday morning routine than a relationship with God. 

We moved to Indiana University for college in 1996.  Right after getting there we sought out a Catholic church.  We went to two different ones....  but they weren't the same as our small little hometown church.  They were huge and no one seemed to be there for the right reasons.  We eventually stopped going because it drove Mike and I crazy.  I would continue to read Bible stories to the kids and we'd pray on and off at meal time; I'd continue to have a yearing to be somewhere on Sunday mornings, but we werent' doing anything about it. 

We moved home in January of 2001 after learning that my Mom's cancer was spreading and Mike's seizures started becoming a dialy occurence.  I would pray almost daily but Mike wasn't really too interested.  He had become angry and bitter with God about various things that had happened.  We went to Evansville, Indiana to visit friends over Easter in 2002 and on the way home from their house one of our kids said "so...  what is Lent anyway?  And who is the man they talk about dying on the cross?".  OUCH!  After that, Mike committed that even if HE wasn't interested in church, our kids needed to know what church was all about. 

We had a hard time getting going to a church that year because I was put on bedrest early on during my pregnancy and my Mom was very sick.  In November of 2002 Paige was born 9 weeks prematurely and then in April we lost my Mom to cancer.  Shortly after that, a friend in our neighborhood told us about Sonrise at Aboite.  We decided to give it a try.  The first Sunday I went I felt like I learned more in that hour about God's love for me than I ever had before!  And that longing that I had felt on and off for years had coming FLOODING back like never before.  We attended Sonrise every week and every week our kids were loving it, I was loving it, and I felt like I was growing.  It was probably the first time in my life where I truly understood that Jesus died on a cross to pay for my sins, to set me free. 

We moved to North Carolina in May of 2006 and started seeking a church right away.  We first attended River Oaks in the early summer, and we only attended once.  I don't remember what was said specifically, but the pastor said something that turned Mike off pretty quickly.  After that we visited a few other churches, but really had a hard time connecting anywhere. 

Our world changed in February of 2007 when Mike lost his Grandpa Molitor.  When we were home for Grandpa's funeral I watched from a few rows back as Mike cried genuine tears in the front row.  My heart broke!  On our way home Mike said he realized sitting at his grandfather's funeral, that we needed to get back to church, even if that meant it was the Catholic church.  The next week we went to Holy Family Catholic Church and shortly after decided to enroll our kids in the Faith Formation classes to "catch them up" on First Communion and Confirmations.  We DRUG Devin kicking and screaming every week and decided not to have him go through with the courses.  But Kayleigh and Chase both did.  I jumped in to teaching one of the CCD Classes and all seemed to be well.  We quickly fell back into the "routine" of it all.

In the spring of 2008 our entire family came to celebrate Kayleigh and Chase receivin their first Holy Sacraments through the Catholic church.  After our families left we were sitting at the dining room table for dinner and one of them - I honestly don't remember which one - said "so what was the big deal about Communion?".   Mike and I again looked at eachother and quickly realized we had really messed up!  We asked the kids, all of them, what they wanted.  Their response took us by surprise.... not ONE of them wanted to go to the Catholic church.....  and they all said River Oaks (the church that Mike walked out of the first summer in NC!). 

A few weeks later we were on our way to Holy Family one Sunday when we decided to attend River Oaks instead.  Our kids were so excited!  And again, like Sonrise, I left there that day feeling like I had really LEARNED something  about the Bible and I couldn't wait to go back week after week.  I began serving in the children's ministry and then in the youth, loving the time with the kids and learning more and more every week about the love of Jesus and what community meant. 

Many people can say they know the exact date they gave their life to Christ.  For me, I can't say that.  It was more of a gradual process.  God was chasing after me from the time I was a little girl.  Letting me know that He was there when I truly looked for him.  The first seeds were planted many years ago at Emmanuel Baptist Church in Paulding with the Beiswenger family.  Those seeds continued to be nurtured at the Catholic churches we attended and then at Sonrise.  Somewhere in the first two years at River Oaks, they took off and before I knew it I was planting seeds in others lives, experiencing what true community was during some of the hardest days of my life, and then was just on fire to share the love of Jesus with people around me! 

The cool thing about my story is how it plays into Mike's story....  he'll have to write his out himself.  But, I will say I prayed week after week on Sundays as Pastor Beaty said his closing prayer, with my hand on Mike's knee, that God would pierce his heart.  That God would take a hold of Mike and show him that he is loved and that He had a plan for Mike.  After several years of prayng, God has gotten a hold of Mike in a way I NEVER could have imagined.  That fire inside of Mike has led us to Phoenix and I cannot wait to see how we grow together in our marriage, and in our faith as we share our story of persevereance and faith with others!

That, my friends...  is my story!  And it's only just beginning!!