Where Does the Time Go?

We've all heard it...
We've all been warned...
But do we really listen to it?

That bit of advice where people look at the baby in your arms and say "awwww... precious.... enjoy the time now because before you know it they are all grown up"!

This weekend our oldest child, Devin, graduates from high school. I have found myself saying over and over the last few months "I SWEAR... I JUST changed his diaper yesterday!!". That bit of advice really went in one ear and out the other apparently because I just didn't "get it" until now.

On Saturday, Devin will walk across that stage to be handed his diploma, and walk off the stage onto a new road of life. On Sunday, he turns 18 and becomes an "adult"... all in the same weekend!

I am so very proud of all he has accomplished the last 18 years! He has always been an honor student; he has ran track, cross country, and winter track and won many ribbons and awards; he has been an amazing big brother to 2 sisters and a little brother; he has held an almost full time job for the last year and a half; he has bought his first car; he has been accepted into college; he has preached (given the message) at his church youth group twice; he has led students to Christ; and he has done so much more that isn't even listed!

Devin, I cannot wait to see how God uses you in this thing called life! I know you are going to do big things, I love you with all of my heart and could not be more proud of you!!

- Love Mom

Watching God Step In...

Since Kayleigh's last visit to Duke Medical Center with Endocrinology, labwork has slowly been trickling in. In true "Kayleigh" style... all of her labs have shown to be within the safe "range" of values, but on the very low side of that range. For example... her sodium range is 135-150 and hers is right at 135. These numbers coming in have pretty much ruled out what the doctors all thought Kayleigh had and now are telling us they don't believe it's adrenal insufficiency afterall.

But... this leads us to more questions.

Today, Angie Hutchins came to my house early and we headed back to Duke Med with Kayleigh where we saw the pediatric cardiologist; well, actually THREE! We started with a fellow, Dr. McCanta, who was very very nice and had done his homework! He not only knew Kayleigh's entire history before walking in the room, he had spoken to her endocrinologist to get even more insight! After reviewing her chart, doing her exam, looking at her labs, and talking to us - again they are saying they are on to something. He proceeded to explain a disorder called Dysautonomia. He did openly admit that if she did have Dysautonomia, it was a pretty severe case based on how it has affected her life so drastically.

Anyhow... this is where God kicked in and made things happen...

This first cardiologist told us that there are very few specialists in the United States who soley focus on Dysautonomia, and there are very few hospitals that do a true Dysautonomia battery of tests. Duke happens to be one of those very few... not only that... the doctor that specializes in it, Dr. Kanter, just happened to be there and was available for consult. A colleague of his, Dr. Carboni, was available AND free this afternoon while we were there! He wasn't available to do one of the tests until 3pm, but he was available. It was only about 1:15, so our plan was to go grab a quick bite to eat, then come back... but again... God had other plans for us! An opening was available in the ECHO lab at 2pm! Once these 2 appointments were done they set her up with a 24 hour halter monitor and we were on our way.

At the end of the day we still don't know exactly what is going on with Kayleigh and why she is so symptomatic and her vital signs are so unstable. She will have to go back to Duke soon for a full day of testing to be done on an outpatient basis to give us more insight. But we do have complete confidence in the doctors at Duke and faith that God will continue to step in and guide our path.

Blessed...

I found this new blog background tonight and it seemed perfect for the way we feel...

Blessed.....

We are blessed by an amazing son who is about to graduate from high school and take the next step in this journey called life...


We are blessed that our older two kids are so very close and are always there for each other...


We are blessed with a strong willed little blonde, that I'm SURE will go far and do great things...


We are blessed by Chase's smile each and every day... reminding us that no matter what others think of us... we can be happy with who we are just the way we are...


We are blessed by friends who stop by and love on Kayleigh, and pray for her continuously...


We are just blessed...

I Never Was Any Good at Limbo!

As a matter of fact... I HATED limbo! I was never any good at it! That same pattern has continued into adulthood... only this time... it's a different kind of limbo.

Kayleigh has not recovered well from her incident last month, despite the medication that she's been put on. We've been to the doctor at least once a week and on the phone with them several times a week. We are at a point where our family doctor here just can't help her anymore and isn't comfortable making any more medication changes. They were able to get her appointment at Duke Medical Center moved up by 4 weeks to May 27th, but until then.... we are in limbo and it just plain stinks!

Kayleigh is still dealing with constant headaches due to the medication trying to fight the crazy low blood pressures and heart rates. She's also dealing with on and off low oxygen saturation causing her to fatigues easily and just feel like sleeping a whole lot!

Through it all... she is trying to stay active and be as normal as possible. We did make a few changes to help her handle day to day activities. She is now "Homebound" for her Reagan High School classes. She still gets up and goes to the Career Center in the mornings, but she then comes home in the afternoons where she does the rest of her classwork. There is a teacher that is assigned to her that will spend 4 hours a week tutoring and administering tests to her - here at home. This should allow her to get rest when she needs it, but still do her work and not be penalized for missed school days (she has missed a LOT of school).

I haven't said much about him lately, but, Devin has been absolutely fantastic with whatever Kayleigh needs! He has driven her home from school early, to school late, checks on her throughout the day, and even sends me text updates on her if she's not doing so hot! He and his date are going to prom and dinner with Kayleigh and her boyfriend. Devin has even helped to arrange for Kayleigh to have a manicure/pedicure this afternoon!!! I have always known the 2 of them are close siblings... but seeing how he has supported and loved her through all this is absolutely sobering and brings tears to my eyes.

Mike and I are doing fine. Mike, as always, is a rock and never lets anything get to him. He cares and I know he worries about her, but he doesn't treat her any differently now than he did before this all started. I'm the one who says "How are you today?" and he's the one that says "Do the dishes!". LOL! Most importantly, he's the one who says "there's no sense in getting upset and worked up if there's nothing you can do about it... we take it one day at a time". (Sometimes, this man is pretty smart!)

In all seriousness.. during our wait to get to Duke, we are learning many things.

- We are learning patience... patience in waiting for God's perfect timing.
- We are learning trust... trust that she will be taken care of in His hands.
- We are learning to accept blessings... this is a hard one! But we have learned to accept the blessings of those that have brought us meals, prayed with us, and those who have gone out of their way to help us!

We are learning to just sit back and know that God is in control, we are not.

Life on the Lyons Rollercoaster

On Tuesday night, April 12th, we got a phone call from a friend who was at Reagan High School telling us Kayleigh had collapsed again. A few minutes later I called another friend who was there who said this time, it just looked different, then she began to seize. That earned her her very first EMS ride to the hospital! Since then, we have been in a whirlwind that we can't seem to escape.

Kayleigh had a significantly low heart rate (as low as 38!!!) and her blood pressure was very low as well. Since then, the symptoms have continued and she has had a massive headache (probably from the seizure); is weak, fatigued, and just washed out. She is really struggling with recovery of this episode and is losing weight.

In the days after she collapsed we had an MRI done (to rule out a tumor), we've seen neurology (to rule out a seizure disorder), and a cardiologist to figure out why her heart rate and blood pressure are so low. Every avenue they've suspected has become a dead end leaving us more frustrated and having more questions and have left the doctors baffled..... until last Friday.

After Kayleigh's most recent lab work, symptoms, and a few things that have happened to her in the past; Kayleigh's doctor here in Winston feels very strongly that she has Addison's Disease. Addison's Disease is an autoimmune disease where her adrenal glands don't work properly, causing very low sodium and cortisol in her body. When you have low sodium your heart begins to slow down and not beat properly causing you to lose consciousness. Low cortisol causes your body to not recover well after any trauma or illness. It explains so much that has happened to Kayleigh over the last few years!! For the first time in a LONG time, Kayleigh smiled and felt some relief that she has an answer!!

Kayleigh has already began one of the treatments for it and they are working on adjusting the medication to help increase her sodium level and improve her heart function. In the meantime, her medical care is being transferred to Duke Medical Center in Durham where they will continue the final testing for Addison's and adjust her medications. She will have a long road ahead of her to get it all straightened out, but once it is she can live a completely normal life; and this we are thankful for!!!

Through it all... Kayleigh's boyfriend, Justin, has stood by her side firmly. I tell ya... he's just as much her advocate as we are! Just today he called me and said "why can't they do this sooner?". He has been her rock and has held her tight when she's needed it, yet backed away when he knew she needed that too.

Kayleigh's youth leader, and my dear friend Cindy has also been a huge support. Cindy spent an entire afternoon and evening with us, and even stayed with us at the hospital during one her tests. As a matter of fact... she asked more questions of the nurse than I did during Kayleigh's echocardiogram!! But for that, I am grateful because my mind was in no shape to even think about what I should be asking!!

And JUST to keep us on our toes... Kayleigh had a funny mole that felt "lumpy" under it. Her doctor felt it needed removed because of it's lacey edges, the way it felt, and my Mom's Melanoma. So, today, off we went. The whole thing took about 20 minutes once they got her numb and I got to watch it all! (Have to admit... it was pretty cool!) Anywhoo.... it ended up being a bit bigger and deeper than anticipated, but she handled it like a trooper! So far she has felt no pain, but I'm guessing that will change overnight!

Our church family at River Oaks have been praying continuously for her, our youth pastor (Chip Herrera) stayed at the hospital one night until 2am with us, meals have been delivered, friends stopped by and called to check in on her, and my boss has been MORE than understanding and allowed me to be flexible so that I can be with Kayleigh at appointments, tests, and procedures. It is with tears in my eyes that I say we are SOOOOOOO very grateful to each and every person who has walked this journey with us and for the love they have shown to Kayleigh and to our family.

So... that's Life in the Lyons Family over the last 3 weeks... we're so ready to get off the roller coaster, but we are just now climbing the hill and have a way to go before it stops!

Cancer SUCKS!

Too many people in my life have fought cancer and lost... But this time, it's different and more of a reality check for me.

I met my sweet friend Heidi 5 years ago, shortly after we moved to North Carolina. A few months after we met, we flew to St. Louis together for training. She knew I was afraid of flying and we chatted a lot on the flight. That's when we realized how much in common we had....

-Heidi and I are the same age.
-Heidi and Matt have been married as long as Mike and I have.
-Heidi has 4 children like we do, the oldest being 17 for both of us.
-Heidi is also an Occupational Therapist.
-Heidi and I have worked for the same companies while in NC.
-Heidi is from Defiance County.... moved here for work like we did.

Heidi has been battling breast cancer for less than a year...

LESS THAN A YEAR!

On Wednesday of this week she came home from the hospital for one final time on hospice care until she's welcomed Home into the arms of Jesus any day.

I think that all the things we share are what makes it even harder for me. I can easily picture myself in her place right now... me having to make tough decisions about my life... my family going through what her family is going through.

Then I think about her young daughter won't have her Mom to be there for her first date... for her first prom... for her wedding. There are all those special moments that a mother and daughter share. There are also special moments with her boys that will never come for her, or them. She won't be here for graduations, birthdays, and so much more!

Then I have the piece of me that realizes a friend of mine, my age is losing her life. MY AGE!
There's just so much life left to live when you're only 39...

So...

I will hug my kids a little harder.
I will tell them I love you a little more.
I will tell them "maybe later" a little less.

Because tomorrow... it could be me.

Lessons From My Daughter...

Kayleigh wrote this tonight in response to the death of Brooke Edwards, another classmate of hers who died too soon.. We, as parents, are supposed to be ministering to our children. But often, in my house, our kids minister to us through things like this...

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Hey guys, status updates only allow about 420 characters so I used my knowledge and common sense for a change to figure out writing a note would be easier. This won't take long but please read it, and I apologize for the capitals, I figured it would get your attention. Feel free to share this if you think it'll help people, I'm hoping it helps you.

As you all know by now, this year is not easy, and it feels like we're under a big, dark rain cloud that has no intentions of going away. Four amazing people have been lost at Reagan this year, and many more around the community without our knowledge; but our family is hurting. Loved ones have been lost, best friends, sisters, brothers, cousins. I'm not writing this to make you all more upset, but to let you know you are not alone in this storm.

Everything happens for a reason. Most of the time, that reason is unknown to us, but it always appears later, showing us what we were missing during the rain. Things happen that hurt and cause pain, make us weep and angry, but no matter how amazing or how terrible something that happens is, God has something greater planned when we trust Him, trust each other and help each other through it. Right now, something completely amazing must be planned for us, other wise we would not be under attack from the enemy, from the one who wants to tear us down. That gives me more hope, more faith in knowing that there is a light at the end of this tunnel.

You are not alone, guys, never. It may feel like you're walking alone. Maybe you're asking yourself, why, why is this happening to us? Why to the sweetest people, they don't deserve this, why are You letting this happen? But truth is, you are far from alone. Look at the faith and the love that you guys have all brought together to support each other this year, look how close and how far we have come from the beginning of the year, and even farther back. You guys are truly blessed, each and every one of you. You're blessed with families, friends, amazing talents, opportunities, lives, and memories, and you have been put here for a reason. Those who we have lost held faith in their hearts, and I have full faith that they are with God now, watching down over us, being our guardian angels when the storm never seems to end.

Keep the faith, don't lose the hope and everything because it seems as if nothing is going to get better. I promise you, it will. We are a family, and we need to stick together, support each other, pray for one another, love on everyone. Don't let any person go without knowing they are loved, because each and every one of you is loved and cherished and taken care of. Not one of you isn't good enough, for everything. We aren't perfect, but that makes us all connected. In these times, hold your memories close, God closer and surround yourself with friends and those who love you. Cherish the moments you have, because we are not promised tomorrow. Time isn't meant to be wasted holding anger to things that we couldn't have prevented. Brooke's death was an accident, nothing could have stopped it, its not Brooke's fault, or the drivers. God wanted his angel back. Nick was an accident, the ice froze moments before and no one could have stopped it. I worried for the longest time, wishing I had talked to him longer that morning, thinking if I had, he would still be here, but I realize now that nothing I had done could have prevented it. Don't blame yourselves, or God, or others. Everything that happens is for a reason.

I love you guys. I know its crazy to think one person can love people they don't even know, but truth is, no one has ever given me good enough reason to not care about them, even if I don't know you. God loves you, and He has a plan for your lives, and for these moments that are difficult and that tear us down. Keep the faith and trust in Him, and trust in each other. We can make it through if we act like a family, no matter what race, girl/boy, dorky/cool, we are all the same, we are all family and we are strong enough to make it through.

Keep the faith, hold the hope, never give up and never let go. When you see only one set of footprints in the sand, that is when He carries you.

Stay strong, guys, we are a family.

Jeremiah 29:11 "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"

Psalm 23:4 "Lord though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me."

Not Some of My Proudest Hours...

I came home from an amazing youth retreat one week ago today. It was a weekend full of unity, fellowship, and fun with our amazing Ignite ROCC Youth Ministries Group. Before we left camp, we talked to the kids about how satan likes to swoop in wherever God is working in our lives. Little did I know that I needed that speech for MYSELF!

Sunday night started as always... the kids had youth group and all was well. But, Chase came home from youth with a fever of 104.3, body aches, chills, and a horrible headache. Monday morning it was confirmed..... influenza! By Wednesday it moved into his chest and he developed lovely blisters all around the inside of his mouth. So... back to the doctor we went on Thursday and sure enough... we were now looking at a possible pneumonia! Lovely!!

As if that wasn't enough, Paige came home from school on Thursday with an itchy rash all the way around her eye. Since we were already taking Kayleigh to the doctor on Friday morning, we scheduled Paige as well.

Well.... Friday morning didn't exactly go smoothly! Turns out Kayleigh apparently tested positive for MONO the last time we were there and no one called to tell us! She also had some other funky labwork AND she has a mole on her shoulder that is changing quickly and looks a tad suspicious. So... they drew EIGHT vials of blood (they wanted ELEVEN!!), scheduled a procedure to have the mole cut out, and a follow up visit to go over all the labwork they did on the blood they sucked out of her.

Paige.... well sure enough it was another fungal infection, only this time they can't give her cream because of the eye. Instead she gets to take some yummy stuff called Grisefulvin that she has to choke down every night!

After all this I finally get Paige and Kayleigh to school and I head to work, getting there around 11am. At 12:10pm I get a call from Devin... he was in a car accident on Silas Creek Parkway! Thankfully he's ok... but his new Isuzu Rodeo is crunched up a bit in the back! Ughh!

By this point I was ridiculously frustrated and stressed out and really didn't even stop to pray about any of it... not proud of that, but it's the truth. Instead, the more I thought about it the more frustrated I became and when I got home I was just snippy. My best friend stopped by to surprise me with Haagen Daas, Sprite & Spiced Rum, Tulips, and a few hours of friendship... but as soon as she left I wallowed up in my pity party again.

But Saturday morning I was smacked upside the head with what I should have been thankful for... only not in a good way....

Another young Reagan High School student, Brooke Edwards, was killed late Friday night. In my sadness for Brooke's death is when I finally stepped out of my pity party and realized how blessed I truly am. Sure... I had a bad week, but... We have insurance to pay for doctors visits, we have the money to pay for all the prescriptions and medications, we have car insurance to cover Devin's car, and we still HAVE Devin!

... But the Edward's family... they don't have their Brooke.

So, my verse from this point forward is from Psalms 16:8: "I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shakin." When I feel like satan is swooping in on me I will recite this verse and remember first and foremost that He is with me always and second, I am blessed!

Keeping a Holy Lent

We were Catholic for many years, and although we are no longer practicing Catholic and we are members at River Oaks Community Church, there are some beliefs of our Catholic background that still mean a lot to us. One of those beliefs is the idea of giving up something for Lent to glorify and Honor a God who gave up His LIFE for us!

We talk to the kids each year about why we do this, and we all decide on something that we can "give up". We also encourage them to do the same thing. One year I gave up pop (yeah, that didn't work out so well!), Mike has given up cursing (a few time), and Kayleigh even tried giving up MEAT one year! But in all of our choices - they seemed to be selfish choices to make US feel better about ourselves and really didn't do much to put the spotlight on the One who gave His life for us!

Today, I was reminded of an email from a friend last year after reading a Facebook status of a student. The email guided us to focus on ways to give up actions and to glorify Him more. It was perfect for us last year and I want to share it with anyone who is willing to read...

Give up complaining - Focus on gratitude

Philippians 2:14&15 – Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure…

1 Thessalonians 5:18 – Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Jesus Christ.


Give up bitterness - Turn to forgiveness

Ephesians 4:31 – Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.

Ephesians 4:32 – Be kind and compassionate to one another forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.


Give up worry - Trust in God

Matthew 6:25 – “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life… who by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”

Matthew 6:33 – But seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.


Give up discouragement - Be full of hope

Deuteronomy 31:8 – The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you: he will never leave you or forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

Isaiah 40:31 – But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.


Give up hatred - Return good for evil

1 John 2:9 – Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness.

Luke 6:27 – “But I tell you who hear me; Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you.”


Give up anger - Be more patient

Matthew 5:22 – But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment.

Proverbs 15:18 – A hot tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel.


Give up gossiping - Control your tongue

Psalm 34:13 – Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies.

Proverbs 21:23 – He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.

I hope that this helps you during this Lent and Easter season to remember why we celebrate Easter, how much our God loves us, and ways that we can glorify and honor Him!

CINCINNATI, BABY!!!

We love this city and we had a great time
with Mike's family this past weekend...

Started at the Newport Aquarium on Saturday morning....

Lunch at Skyline was a must...
and as you can see, Michael enjoyed it!

An afternoon of swimming in the pool...

A little bit of relaxation...

An evening shot for the birthday boy at Rafferty's!

Uno on the bathroom floor at the hotel for the kids!

Gifts to help with the "aging"process!

And fun with Devin at Sunday morning breakfast...

Made for a great weekend with the Lyons Family!

The Divine Valentine

A Valentine may play a love song for you, but God sings you the sweetest love song in the universe.

The Lord your God…will rejoice over you with gladness, He will keep you quiet with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing. (Zephaniah 3:17)

A Valentine may give you flowers, but God sent you the most beautiful rose of all, Jesus.

I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys. (Songs of Solomon 2:1)

A Valentine may take you out to dinner, but God has invited you to the most amazing feast ever given.

Blessed are those who are called to the marriage supper of the Lamb! (Revelation 19:9)

A Valentine may bring you chocolate, but God provides you with something even
sweeter, His Word.

How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! (Psalm 119:103)

A Valentine may be far away, but God is always with you.

I am with you always. (Matthew 28:20)

A Valentine may give you something, but God has given you everything.

God gives us richly all things to enjoy. (1 Timothy 6:17)

A Valentine may love you for a lifetime, but God loved you beore you were born
and will love you for all eternity!

Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love…with loving kindness I have drawn you. (Jeremiah 31:3)

I Love My Daddy!!

Today is my Daddy's birthday and I want everyone to know:

I LOVE MY DADDY!!!!

What Our Husbands REALLY Want...

I have been cyber friends with Jen Murray from 4tunate for a few years. First... we're both from Indiana and we Hoosiers stick together! But, I really started to lean on advice from Jen a few years back when my dear friend Marli was going through some issues with getting pregnant and working through the IVF process. Jen was a huge source of strength for Marli and gave me direction on how to love and support Marli... and now Marli has her Long Awaited Miracle!!

Jen often posts things on her blog that speak directly to me!! I don't know HOW she does it... but she does! And this week was no different. As many of us are preparing for Valentine's Day and I hear the mumbling of "what do I get him..., I am sharing parts of her blog post with her permission. I have also linked her blog above in bold italics if you'd like to read it in it's entirety.

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Valentine gifts for guys always seem to come up short.

Cheesy. Trinkety. Hollow.

I’m not knocking your heart key chain, or your photo mug. If he’s in to that kind of thing, then by all means! However, I bet you that there’s something deeper and lasting that he wants from you…

Have you thought about what your husband really wants while you search through the aisles of a department store or peruse the candy aisle?

He wants you to trust him. Do you believe in his pursuits? Do you trust him with parenting your children? Are you still depending on him “to have and to hold” or are you trying to tackle it yourself because “you know best”?

Psalm 31:24 “Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD.”

He wants you to respect him. Do you use your words to uplift him and encourage or do they tear down? How powerful our words and attitudes can be in belittling our mate’s character!

Ephesians 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

He wants you to admire him. What first drew you to your husband? Do you still allow yourself to be swooned by him? Is he confident in your affection and loyalty for him? Have you told him recently what makes him attractive to you?

Ephesians 4:2 “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”

He wants you to be confident in your beauty. Do you constantly point out your imperfections? Do you find yourself changing his compliments into a self-critique? Are you allowing the signs of gravity, the battle scars of bearing children, the comparison struggle to steal joy from your relationship?

Song of Solomon 7:6 “How beautiful you are and how pleasing, my love, with your delights!”

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There are definitely two things listed that I struggle with that I am certain my husband would appreciate.

(Well, Okay... maybe 3... being confident in my own beauty is a toughy... but it's getting a little better as I'm losing weight and watching sizes drop!)

Michael, I love you with all of my heart and promise to you to trust you more with our family and respect you more by loving and encouraging you as you come up on an uncertainty with your job. You are just as handsome and loving as you were the day I met you and I look forward to many more holidays (including the Hallmark holidays) with you!

Our Conflicting Views on Prayer...

This one is kind of personal... don't usually post about things that are personal, but it's been on my heart to post this for a while now.

Mike was faced with giving a prayer request at small group last week. Something he's not too comfortable with because of events that have taken place over the course of our marriage that give him "different" views that most have.

So, let's start from the beginning..... (might wanna grab some coffee because this could take a while!)

• Michael and I were married November 2nd, 1991
• In the summer of 1992 we had lost our first baby
• Devin was born emergency c-section in distress on June 12, 1993
• Kayleigh came quickly after on July 26, 1994, 7 weeks early
• We had the normal marriage struggles up and down that were intensified with that of a premature baby who was always on breathing treatments and financial chaos
• Mike lost his job in 1996... that was a huge hit!
• Decided then to go to college as a married couple with 2 young children... yeah... no stress there!
• In 1997 we lost another baby...
• Early 1998 we found out we were expecting again, but later in the pregnancy we learned there were complications... big ones!
• August 14, 1998 Chase was born with some problems with one of his kidneys being quite enlarged
• Oh... and let's not forget the massive amounts of blood loss and near death experience I had giving birth to Chase
• In the spring of 1999 Chase had surgery to have his renal problems corrected
• Mike started having seizures in 1998 that progressively got worse and more frequent over the next 2 years
• Winter of 2000 we unexpectedly found out we were expecting TWINS!
• April 3, 2000 our twins became angels with our two other babies that were lost
• Shortly thereafter it was "confirmed" I would not be able to get pregnant again due to significant scar tissue in the uterus... honestly... this was a sigh of relief!
• Spring/Summer of 2000 my Mom was diagnosed with Melanoma
• We moved home in 2001 to be there for her and help Dad with her appointments an care
• Oh... Mike's seizures continued, kids were sick with one thing or another, multiple sets of tubes in ears, etc..... you know... more stress on us and our marriage
• Spring of 2002... better sit down.... PREGNANT!!!
• The next several months consisted of more seizures from Mike, Mom's health declining, and my pregnancy being very rocky
• By the early fall of 2002 I was on strict bedrest, Mom was on daily radiation, Dad wasn't sleeping, Mike was still seizing...
• October of 2002... Mom's cancer was officially terminal and there was nothing more that could be done
• November 7, 2002 Paige was born 9 weeks prematurely, spending the next several weeks in the hospital
• December 2002 Mom's cancer was in her brain and we could see her slipping away
• April 13, 2003 we said goodbye to Mom one final time
• By spring of 2003 Dad had his first heart attack
• June of 2003 Dad was rushed to IU Med Center with an aneurysm
• Summer was consumed with Dad's health and Paige's health
• September of 2003 one of Mike's best friends was shot and killed
• Winter of 2003 into 2004 Paige continued to have terrible health and Chase began to lose weight
• Spring of 2004 Chase became lethargic and almost unresponsive at times
• May of 2004 our pediatrician diagnosed him for the first time with an auto-immune heart condition and he was admitted to the Children's Hospital CICU.
• School year of 2005 we started noticing Chase was a bit "different" than the other kids
• Spring of 2005 Kayleigh collapsed at school with a blood sugar of less than 40!!
• Fall of 2006 Devin had his first asthma attack while running a cross country race
• Through all this, illness continued, Dad's health was up and down, Mike and I were always stressed out!
• Spring of 2006 we moved to North Carolina
• Summer of 2006 Mike was involved in an accident at work where he lost the hearing in his left ear
• Fall of 2006 Chase was diagnosed with Mild Developmental Delay with Autistm Tendencies.... even though we suspected this, it was a huge hit to Mommy!!
• Winter of 2006... Dad left my house in NC the day after Christmas and had a heart attack half way home, while driving in the middle of Kentucky!
  
• 2007 3 of the 4 kids had surgery to have tonsils removed, adenoids, removed, and tubes put in AGAIN!
• Spring of 2007 Kayleigh was diagnosed with LABRYNTHITIS!! Never heard of it? Yeah... us either and we still aren't sure! LOL!
  
• Summer 2007 Devin belly flopped into the pool and broke a rib
• Fall of 2007 Mike had shoulder surgery to repair bicep tears, RTC tears, labral tears, AND bone spurs!!! LONG RECOVERY!!

I could keep going... but I think you get the point and I'm tired of writing it all out! Making me get all down again!

Anyhow, In the 20 years we've been married, suffice it to say that we have endured more than our fair share of stress, heartache, tragedy, illness, and more. Now, I'm not saying there weren't happy times in there. Just seems like there were way more lows than highs!

For me, during all those things listed above.I prayed. I will cry out to the Lord and sometimes yell "WHY?!?.... This is not fair, Lord!". Other times I thank Him. Sounds crazy, I know. But through it all Mike and I always support each other and we have always had good doctors to care for the kids, supportive friends, loving parents, and more. In James, we are told to "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." and persevere I have done!

For Mike, it's not so easy. He has faith, and knows that the Lord is in control of all, but prayer doesn't come so easy for him. In his mind, what's going to happen cannot be changed in prayer because the Lord knows and keeps His plan. If we pray for something to be changed, it isn't going to happen if it's not the Lord's will. For him, if he prays about something it's like saying "Lord, I know you have Your will.. but here is MY will and I want you to change yours to match mine." I can certainly see his point, but I don't necessarily agree with it.

For me, I've learned to rely on the love that the Lord has for us and I've really began to trust that He will see us through anything and everything. I don't get stressed out as easily about things like I used to. I just pray for peace, guidance, strength, and for the Lord to cover our needs during times of trial.

Think about it this way.... when you get upset about something or something happens like a death, who do you turn to? Many will call up a friend for support. Just someone who will listen to our concerns, worries, and wipe our tears. We don't necessarily say to that friend or request of that friend to change the outcome or to make it different. They are there to lean on.

Guess what... That's what GOD is there for too! Call on Him! Cry out to Him that you are angry, upset, weary, tired... or cry out to Him when you are THANKFUL in the very same manner. Stay in constant communication with Him and He will give you peace, comfort, and strength to get through anything!

Is Mike right? In my opinion... sort of. We cannot change God's will. But what we can do is pray for his comfort and trust that His will is part of a bigger and better plan that He has for us and for our lives.

To my dear husband, that I love very very much... when you pray to "let go, and let God", the weight is lifted off YOUR shoulders and HE takes it on for because He loves you JUST THAT MUCH!

Being Intentional...

Our youth pastor, Chip Herrera, has been doing a series on Suffering and the Sovereignty of God after the death of student, Nick Doub. It's been a good series that has truly helped the kids work through their loss. This past Sunday, Chip did a Q&A Panel where the kids were able to text questions and they'd get answers, or guidance with Biblical principles and life stories of the panel members. Of course, the answers including turning to their Bibles and prayer for ultimate guidance. One of the follow up questions to that was something along the lines of "How do we find time for the Bible and prayer in our already so very busy lives?".

The panel's answer.... Be intentional!

Be intentional. Seems so simple, but yet can be so complicated. After all... in our crazy technology driven, car pooling, always working, and let's not forget cooking cleaning and parenting lives... where is time for intentional? I try hard to be intentional every night before bed... but I'll be honest... after a long tiring day where I'm finally crawling into bed after 11pm I find it hard to stay up and spend time in the Word for a while.

How wrong is that though!?! Say it out loud to Jesus and see what it sounds like....

"Sorry, Lord. I am just so tired my eyes won't stay open so I'm not opening Your book tonight, and I'd just fall asleep in the middle of prayer time anyway."

Yikes! But, if I'm being honest with myself that's what I've done on nights like that and after saying it out loud to Jesus makes me just want to cringe and smack myself right upside the head! Yep... time for that to change!

There are other areas in my life that need to be intentional as well....

How about marriage?
Children?
And (here's a biggie)... being intentional with MYSELF for time all alone!

So... I've decided to really focus on these things that I need to make priority... be intentional with making sure that I focus on them more often!

Being Intentional with the Lord:

• Spending time in prayer or devotion while I'm driving. I want to get some devotions on DVD and listen to them to and from work.
• Being intentional reading from my Bible. I've found a One Year Bible Online tracker to print and use and have already started this week.
• Being intentional in attending my Small Group each and every week and not letting anything get in my way!!!!

Being Intentional with Marriage:

• Doing a better job of weekly date night!!! How crazy is it that we have access to free movies at the theater whenever we want and we just don't take advantage of it?!?
• Being intentional on the evenings Michael is home in turning OFF the laptop and sitting with him watching TV, games, or whatever.

Being Intentional with the Kids:

• We rarely get 1 on 1 time with the kids and they deserve that from us. We need to work on a schedule or calendar on spending 1 on 1 time with each of the kids 1 time a month. Maybe each week is a different child... but make it happen! (Again... duhhhh... movie theater is free!)
• Having a family meal at LEAST once a week where EVERYONE is at the table! We don't do this often, even when we are all home. But when we do, it always is so much fun! We need to make it happen more often!
  

and Being Intentional with Myself:

• Working out at least 3 times a week while listening to music (if ya didn't know... music is great for calming the nerves!)
• Allowing myself 30 minutes of uninterrupted ME time each and every day.

I'm sure there are more things that I need to address... but if I can accomplish these things in this order, I know that my crazy technology driven, car pooling, always working, cooking, cleaning, and parenting life may just be a bit less hectic!

Crazy Coupon Chicks!

The best financial lesson I learned from my Mom was couponing! Yep... she was that lady who had the great big box all organized and labeled browsing up and down every aisle spending hours getting every last deal she could each and every week! She'd even profile the cashiers to make sure she got the one that was fast and was polite so that she didn't hold up the line for too long! She always said the grouchy cashiers would intentionally go slow hoping she'd just leave! Remember... back then they had to manually enter prices, coupons, sales, etc.! It always amazed me... watching her take totals that started at $50-$75 (again... this was YEARS ago when things were cheaper!) down to just a few dollars! Way cool in my book!

Over the years I have had periods of time where I was very diligent at couponing, and other times where I was just too lazy. But all it takes is a month or two shopping for my clan of 6 and spending upwards of $125 to $150 a week for me to snap my brain back into shape and say "yo... chick-a-dee... get those coupons out again!" and save yourself some money! When I do use my coupons, I get so excited about what I save that I often will post about it on Facebook or tell my friends. Which then leads to either (a) other friends telling me how much they saved, or (b) friends saying "you have GOT to teach me!".

So.... I decided to post on Facebook (my #1 addiction right now) to see if anyone was interested in a coupon group. The response I got was crazy! 10 people in the first 10 minutes of the post! So, we're giving it a shot and are starting the "Crazy Coupon Chicks" group! I'm so excited! We can share coupons between us, share tips and tricks of the game, teach the newbies, and help each other save some money!

Again... just way cool!

Thanks Mom!

My Heart Hurts...

Devin and Kayleigh's friend, Nicholas Doub, is now resting in the arms of his Lord and Savior.

On Sunday night, Nick's friends held a candle-light vigil at Reagan High School around their spirit rock. It was absolutely touching! HUNDREDS of people came as a few students led in prayer and music. Teachers were there, parents were there, students from other schools and community members were there. The way that everyone came together was like nothing I've ever seen before and left me just looking around with tears in my eyes!

Kayleigh was asked to share her discussion with Nick that she had the morning of the accident. All day Sunday, she said there was no way she could do it... she just knew she'd cry as soon as she began to speak. At youth Sunday afternoon, a leader who is very near and dear to our family (Doug Todd) spoke with her, and prayed with her. Even when we left there, she wasn't sure she could go through with it.

Well.... with the grace that she always carries, she took the microphone and DID it! She spoke of how happy Nick was that morning. How he thought that Thursday was going to be a GREAT day! She also talked about how he always made her laugh and how happy he always was. Other students also talked about his laughter, and how Nick was just Nick... he never let anyone or anything get him down.

Since news came of his passing, Kayleigh has been grieving in a way like I've never seen her grieve. I'm sure the anniversary of her good friend McKana's death being only weeks away only adds to her pain. It hurts my so much as a parent to see her hurting. It makes it worse knowing that I can't take that hurt away. She has to process through it on her own, and trust that Nick's life had a huge purpose, as did McKana's, and their work here was done, the Lord has called them home.

As a parent, my heart hurts even more. I look at my kids and think to myself... "that could could have been MY child so easily!". I cannot imagine the pain that Mr. and Mrs. Doub are feeling and I hurt for them!

Tomorrow will be a very hard day for the Doub family, the Reagan Raider family, and the community. But I think I can say for certain that instead of being a funeral... with the way that Nick laughed and loved... tomorrow will truly be a celebration of life! A life that was full of happiness, joy, laughter, and fun!

We should all learn from Nick....

Tell EVERYONE you love them!
Never walk away angry!
Live life to the fullest!
and always... Laugh a little more!

"In Everything, Give Thanks"

The bible tells us in Thessalonians 5:18 "In everything, give thanks...". When it comes down to it, it is VERY hard to do and many of us, instead of giving thanks, question His will during times of trial and hardship. I know that even I struggle with that.

This week, the students at Regan High School experienced a tragic accident. A very well loved classmate, Nicholas Doub, hit a patch of black ice Thursday morning (no he wasn't speeding and yes he was wearing a seatbelt). His vehicle flipped over an embankment a few times before finally hitting a tree. He was flown to WFUBMC and is still tonight, listed in critical condition with a very poor prognosis.

Both of my kids, Devin and Kayleigh, know Nick well. Kayleigh knows him very well... they talk daily and see each other all the time. Before the accident yesterday, before they even left home for school, Kayleigh and Nick were messaging back and forth. The last message Kayleigh received was "Gotta go.... see you at school"... only Nick never made it to school.

As you can imagine, Kayleigh is a mess! I have sat with her, hugged her, and prayed with her. But it is tough to parent through hurt like this. I know that the strength I have had to hold back tears when I'm with her don't come from me alone, they come from the Lord!

While the last 24 hours have brought questions, hurt, heartache, worry, and fear... we are able to give thanks. We give thanks for the laughter and love that Nick has given to so many people! We give thanks for the number of people who have rallied in prayer for one student who so desperately needs a miracle.

Luke Brigman (another close friend of Kayleigh's that we know well) organized this prayer vigil, called local news stations, and gathered as many people as he could. At 4pm today, what he thought would be just a few ended up being over 300... say that again out loud... OVER THREE HUNDRED... over 300 students, faculty, friends, and parents gathered around the flag pole at Reagan High School praying for an hour! Praying for Nick, his parents, his family, his friends..... praying that the Lord's Will would be done and that the Lord would provide strength and comfort to all those lives that Nick has touched.

For this... we give thanks and praise!

MyFox8 News is one of the news stations that covered the story, "School Rallies in Support of Student"... they did an amazing job, and to watch it just is awesome! When I watched it, I couldn't hold back the tears! I dare you to get through it and not be touched!

In Matthew 18:20 we are assured "For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.". When 300 plus are gathered in one place, all in prayer... I am CERTAIN that He heard those cries for help!

While it is certainly hard to understand His will and to know what His ending will be for Nick during this uncertain time, we are certain that we can trust in Him to carry us all through!

Sweet Jesus... be strong enough for all of those hurting during this tragedy!

One Happy Girl!

Paige finally got her wish! We let her take her Christmas money and get her ears pierced (much to Daddy's dismay)! Seemed like a good time since Kayleigh was having her 2nd ear piercing done. Paige was able to watch Kayleigh do it, then was brave enough to do it too! She's looking forward to Valentine's Day when she gets to take the birthstones out and put the fun earrings in!